SICK

Eeeeew!  Ear infection!!

Yesterday I was diagnosed with a sinus infection and ear infections.  I have been feeling tired and like I had water in my ears for the past month.  Well, I did not have water in my ears; I was sicker than I thought!  I know now why I didn't have much energy and felt achy, tired all the time.  But I kept pushing myself to run, whether I felt like running or not.  Now I am forced to take time off from running and from work.  My doctor wanted me to rest until Thursday; no running, just rest and I hate it!  I can't stop thinking about all the cleaning I have to do, all the other chores I have on my list...not to mention my training for a half-marathon.

Then I remind myself of the people in Japan, the people in Libya...and all the people in the world who are faced with monumental crises.  I realize just how lucky I am. I will take my antibiotic as prescribed and I will get better. 

I really cannot complain..my "problems" are minor compared to other people in this world. 

Run Your Butt Off!

I was part of a test panel for Sarah Lorge Butler's book, Run Your Butt Off .  I had a "before" picture taken a couple weeks after I started the running/diet program and less than 10 weeks later had my "after" picture taken.  I joked that my after picture probably looked the same as my before picture, except for a whole lot of make-up.  Well, I just got my copy of the book and I believe that in my "after" picture I look a whole lot heavier (I don't like the pictures)...and, yes, I do have a whole lot more make-up on!

Why is it that so many women beat themselves up over their looks?  I am so critical of myself; I hate seeing pictures of myself. 

Does it really matter what a picture looks like, isn't how healthy we feel more important?  I have lost 13 pounds since my "after" picture was taken (even though the book says I lost 10 pounds, I had lost 12 pounds at the time the picture was taken).  I have more weight to lose, but I feel I have accomplished a lot.  I made it through the holidays and winter months and did not gain an ounce; usually I gain at least 8 pounds!  I can run much farther, for longer, than I was able to run when my days as a test panelist ended. 

Run your Butt Off is an excellent book.  It gives you all the tools necessary to get yourself moving and begin to nurture your body in a healthy way.  I highly recommend Sarah's book; I have followed the running/diet plan and it works!

Pork-Fried Politics

I am a civil servant; I work for the state of New Jersey and I am a member of a Union.  I have always been grateful that I am part of a bargaining unit, that I have a say in my benefits, my future.  I always knew that I could make more money going into the private sector, but I felt staying in my state job gave me security and helped me provide for my children.

Lately there is so much bashing of state workers, like we sleep on the job while making a million dollars a year. Nothing could be further from the truth!

Let me tell you what it is like to be a Social Servant.

I graduated from Fordham University with Honors with a Masters in Social Work. I started out as a social worker for a local county agency, covered by the state civil service system. I was responsible for monitoring people released from State Mental Health Institutions who were placed in boarding homes. One case comes to mind. There was a woman who not only suffered from a mental illness, she had a serious heart condition. Without her psychotropic medications and her heart medications, she would die. Her Physician called me one day to report the boarding home operator had canceled several appointments and by his calculation she was now out of all her medications. I, being young and idealistic, drove out to the boarding home to see her. I must state that this was back in 1980..no cell phones..no "911". When I arrived at the boarding home I was met with the operator's husband holding a sawed off shot gun in his hand. At first he refused to let me in, but being young and idealistic, I pushed past him and insisted he unlock the boarding home door. He did as I asked and I was horrified to see the lady in question lying naked, covered with feces on the floor. I grabbed the boarding home phone,while the husband holding the gun screamed at me how the lady was a "b----". I called her doctor and he asked me if I could to get her into my car and transport her to the local emergency room; I said I would.  I went to her room only to find her clothes were covered in feces. I cleaned her up the best I could, borrowed someone else's clothes and drove her to the emergency room. She almost died; she was in Intensive Care for several weeks. Eventually she recovered and went to live in a wonderful boarding home. This is just one of the hundreds of situations I have dealt with over the past 30 years. If I wanted to make money I would have gone into business or been a corporate lawyer..but I didn't. I wanted to make a difference in the lives of the most vulnerable, most exploited people. I am not a villain; I am not a bad person. I am a dedicated worker!

I now supervise Case Managers and I am in awe of their dedication to their work. They work through their lunch hours. They donate goods to those who are in need. I had a Case Manager who actually made a Christmas celebration happen for one of his families in need. All of them on their own time, without any monetary compensation.

The state workers I know are selfless, dedicated, caring and devoted workers. They give far more than they get...they do not twiddle their thumbs, they work hard! The assault on state workers is not deserved; we did not make the decision not to contribute to our pension, we have contributed towards our health benefits and pension. It was politicians who decided they didn't have to contribute towards the pension system, going back to Christie Whitman.

We are not the "pork"!

We are not to blame for the current state of affairs in the state of New Jersey. We are working hard towards resolving problems...not creating them!

Clearing the big bumps!

I recently wrote a post about experiencing another "bump" in the road of life.  We all experience "bumps", but it is how we deal with them that counts. 
I draw on all the positive, loving people I have had in my life when I face the rough times.  For example, my Nanna (Helen Geist), my Aunt Mamie and my dad.  I was so very close to all three of them. 
Nanna wrote The Califon Story  when I was a young girl.  She would babysit for me every Tuesday and when I was at her home she would read me stories from her book.  I loved her so much..she was not only my grandmother, but my closest confidant!
Aunt Mamie was 80 when I was born.  She gave me "lady lessons" after seeing me wipe my nose on my tee-shirt.  I have never been able relate to the Victorian world she belonged to, but I knew it was very special to be loved by her.
My dad was a genius, he was like a sponge..always soaking up knowledge.  There was never enough time in the day to read, to learn, to understand.  My dad was a constant work in progress.  I loved him with all my heart, even when I was a teenager...... boy did I give him a hard time; I was a wild child for a while!  Regardless, I was his "Babe"..he rarely called me by my name..I was always "Babe" to him.  I miss him so much; I am proud to be a "daddy's girl"!
We travel through life..on an an incredible journey....never sure of what we will encounter next.  It seems to me if we learn from our life experiences, then we gain the tools to weather the "bumps" in the road ahead.
Life is always a work in progress...I can't wait to see what lies ahead! 

Friends

This morning I headed outside, it was 29 Degrees F with a slight breeze.  I needed to run at least 3 miles, so I started out on a trail near Califon. I was slow at first, cold and tired.  I had a lot on my mind and I was feeling down about myself.  The "old tapes" from my childhood sometimes haunt me...I feel less than adequate, a loser.  Certain triggers set me back and it takes a real effort to overcome them.  Running has given me the strength to overcome some of those negative feelings.
As I ran I felt serene, I was in another world; no one could hurt me there.   I decided to turn to another trail with less runners...less people passing me (I am slow).  I love the moments when my legs move effortlessly, gliding along with abandonment.  There were hills, and I climbed them with a wonderful sense of accomplishment.  I ran 6 miles in all....I could have run more miles, but I knew my left leg has been a problem and I need to be careful.

Later I met four beloved, wonderful old friends for lunch.  I have not laughed so hard in months.  Ruth, Anne, Ann and Miss Sheri...I love them so much.  We have shared years of working together, raising our children and our grandchildren (well Sheri, Anne and I...Ann will eventually be a Grammie).  We have gone through watching our children grow and experiencing great accomplishments, as well as devastating losses.  Miss Sheri just lost her incredible Husband Tom; an amazing man who was dedicated to his wife and family.
Life is full of its ups and downs...its good-times and bad-times.  But through it all it is our friends that make it possible to heal.  I never would have made it through losing my son Tommy without my friends.  I never would have made it through losing my husband Tom without my friends.  Without my friends I would find watching my mother suffer from Dementia, unbearable.
Friends are some of the greatest gifts life has to offer, I am so grateful I have the very best of friends!

Cupcake Marathon...yum-yum!

I entered the virtual Cupcake Marathon, sounded like so much fun!  You run 26.2 miles, and you have 2 weeks to do it!   You just have to document your runs...as proof.  You can download your workouts from your Garmin or take pictures of your treadmill with your bib to verify your mileage.

Well...my Garmin is not cooperating and my printer is not printing..so I haven't been able to print out my "bib" yet...what to do, what to do.  I did hand-write my own bib and photographed it next to the mileage on my treadmill.  But most of my miles are run outside and I didn't know how to document them.

I emailed the "Cupcake Marathon" and they told me not to worry, that a log is okay...they "honor" the honor system.  Yippee, I will continue...I am no threat to the one who will win this marathon...virtual or real...I am always slow!  I just want to finish....and finish I will!

I also intend to bake and eat my cupcakes too...the "Cupcake Marathon" sent a delicious cupcake recipe..as my grandson Alex would say, "yummy, yummy in my tummy"!

Coming Of Age..Peace Brother!

I am apparently a "masters" runner, only due to my age...a pseudo-senior citizen...I prefer to refer to myself as a "very slow runner" regardless of my age.  I graduated high school in the early 1970's, received my BSW in 1978...got my MSW from Fordham University in 1979.  I am a product of the "hippie" movement, and quite frankly I am proud of it !  Yes, as one of the Case Managers I supervise described them, I am a "dirty, smelly hippie"!  I loved being at the tail end of the "love" movement!  This period produced so many incredible musicians, humanitarians, philosophers, political advocates and open minded people.  Tolerance was the word...people were not to be "labeled"; they were to be understood and respected.

Okay, I am over the age of 50..but I feel more like 25.  I refuse to be put in a category...to be "labeled"..I am a woman who is spiritual, a woman who loves her friends and especially loves that she knows so many people that differ in their political and spiritual opinions... I LOVE diversity!!!!

I run because I love it, because I feel free...not because I want to run a 5K in 30 minutes or less.   I live my life according to the positive changes I hope to help facilitate in other people's lives.  I love my profession...I have the privilege of meeting incredible families and working with dedicated agencies, making a difference in many people's lives.  

I owe my choice of profession to my experiences in the "summer of love", 1967.

My father was part of a world-wide science symposium in 1967 at the University of California in Berkeley.   The Monterrey Pop Festival occurred while we were there.  For publicity purposes, Janis Joplin and the Holding Company and Jimi Hendrix performed in Berkeley for free.  As a young girl I was there to hear their mini concerts; it was the most incredible music I have ever experienced. Jimi was out of this world, and Janis' voice was beyond amazing!

I participated in "love ins" (when I was supposed to be taking my tennis lessons, I took the "pronto bus" to Haight Ashbury) and I saw people treat each other with such love and respect.  I knew this was the world I wanted to be part of. 

I have advocated for tolerance, for love and yes for "peace"...because without love there is nothing!

Love one another...hold on to your passion...like your love for running!

I leave you with a gift..it is a long video..but it is an awesome one!  

Peace!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xnwa1ccNt0E