Abandonment

I ran this morning for 30 minutes with complete abandonment. I din't care where I ran or how fast I ran. I only knew that I was completely carefree and did not have any limits. I can say that this was an incredible time...no limits, no judgement. Just me and the joy of complete freedom!
I started this blog back in February and I feel I have lived a life-time since then. I had a goal of running 30 minutes straight...I have more than achieved that since I can not only run 30 minutes + on the treadmill but can run well over 30 minutes on the "road".
I have had some disappointments..I had a "relative" post some nasty, vindictive comments on my Facebook page. I was so hurt, but lies are lies and they never trump the truth! So I am okay now.
I miss my Tommy and I miss my Tom, but I feel they are still with me; they still are my guys.
Running has not only given me hope for my future, but peace with my past. I am moving forward...who knows what the future holds! I am excited..life really is a "happily ever after"...

Harmony

Yesterday and today I took a mountain bike ride on the Colombian Trail. I rode the 14 mile round trip distance both days. I cherish the beauty of the trail that runs where the old railroad tracks once existed. The trail takes you between High Bridge and Vernoy, running through the Ken Lockwood Gorge. The old, opened rail road bridge that we carefully crossed as children, is now a concrete cross way with tall fences on both sides to prevent one from falling into the Gorge. Every time I cross it I think of how we would put our ear to the track to "listen" for an on-coming train. I have so many wonderful memories of camping up over the bridge.

The day was extremely warm, but you couldn't feel it on the trail. There was a strong breeze flowing through the trees that shaded you from the glaring sun. Birds were singing and the butterflies were actively fluttering around. It was like being in heaven.

I run at Vorhees State Park during the work week at 6am in the morning. I feel the same joy and harmony with nature when I run. The picture above is the trail I run. It is in this area that I have seen a black bear. He is small and young, no more than 150lbs. He looks at me as if to say "Nice morning, isn't it?". We go about our business, respecting each other. I have no fear of him, or any of the other animals I may encounter during my runs or bike rides. I am often asked why I am not afraid and I say I am not afraid of the four legged beasts, but I am afraid of the "two legged beasts".

This week was a trying week for me. I am anxious about a photo shoot scheduled for this Tuesday..I am afraid that my "after shot" will look exactly like my "before" picture. Oh well, as my mom would say, "it is what it is". This week was also the week that I posted a comment on my Facebook page that was sincere and definitely not a secret to my family. Someone responded with nasty, vicious, vindictive and completely untrue comments. I was absolutely shocked. I posted my comment and went to bed, I woke up at around 5am to find the terrible lashing out. I was so hurt and embarrassed. But I will say that I will not be bullied and I will not be told what I can discuss with my friends. I will say what I feel and I will reach out to my friends because I so appreciate their suggestions and their support.

The black bear treated me with more respect than my own "relative". People have the capacity to be so vindictive, so cruel and they have the ability to be so kind and compassionate. I do believe that the vast majority of people are the kind and compassionate ones. But there are enough vindictive, cruel ones to keep me on guard. Maybe it is a result of being a social worker for so many years. I have seen the very best and the most depraved human conduct. I just never thought it would hit so close to home.

I choose to live in a world that is beautiful and balanced. Where everyone strives to treat each other with respect. I really believe that the vast majority of creatures on this earth do value each other and truly want to live in harmony.