Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Still Here

I am still here even if I haven't written a post for a while.  I am still running, but I have put training on hold for a while.

I have written about my mother.  She is a sweet, lovely 91 year old retired kindergarten and music teacher.  She was the Organist and Choir Director for the Califon United Methodist Church in New Jersey for 50 years.  She was a wonderful mother, awesome grandmother and very special great-grandmother.  She has so many friends, co-workers, family and former students who love her.  One of my friends Jimmy, who also was her student, wrote:  "Your Mother was a mom to all of us who were lucky enough to have been guided by her in our early lives. My thoughts and prayers will be with her forever and I only wish I could do more."

My mother is now unable to ambulate without assistance, unable to dress without assistance, unable to bathe without assistance, is incontinent, has no meaningful verbal communication, has suffered from aspiration pneumonia and UTIs numerous times in the past 6 months and has stage 3 decubitus ulcers.  She qualified for hospice care.  She began hospice care this week and is not expected to survive much longer.

She is bedridden and will sometimes open her eyes and try to focus on you when you speak to her.  It is not clear whether she recognizes you.  She must be hand fed and is eating most of her food and drinking her liquids;that is a good sign!

I love my mother so very much and this is a very difficult time for me.  I lost my son only 6 years ago and my husband 3 years ago.  Because of the dementia I know I have already "lost" my mom, but it doesn't make this any easier.  I want her to pass peacefully without any pain.  She will be in the best company when she does leave this life.  I will miss her more than she could ever imagine.
My mother serves my birthday cake for my 4th birthday.

I will be back running and training again...not just for me but for my mom, Tom and Tommy.  I just need to take time to be with my mom as she leaves this life. 

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Wednesday, September 14, 2011

1978!

Hurricane Irene hit us with a vengeance.  The roof suffered the most with numerous shingles blown off by the strong winds!  I could not believe how much water leaked into the attic and down into the living room.  A few days after Irene we had drenching rains that sent even more water down from the roof into the attic and down through the living room ceiling, even though we tried to plug up any holes with roof tar. 

When the water started pouring in, I went up into the attic to save anything that was in harms way.  I frantically dragged boxes of cherished items out of the way.  When I thought all things of value were safe I looked over and saw a purple ribbon.  I picked it up and realized it was my participant ribbon from the very first race I ever entered.  It was from 1978....the Tow Path Run in eastern Pennsylvania.  I looked at the tag where I'd written "2.5 miles, 20 minutes".  Wow, I ran 8 minute miles that day!

It was funny because I remember the day like it was yesterday.  I was so afraid that I would be the slowest runner that I started in the back of the pack.  When the race began I could hardly move; the crowd of runners before me moved so slowly!  It took at least 1/4 mile before I could even take on a "jogging" pace.  It seemed like forever before I could get into my "running" mode. 

I remember being so disappointed with my time.  After all, I ran a 10 mile loop in less than 1 hour during my weekly runs.  I was in my early twenties and I had a lot of energy and endurance.  An 8 minute mile was a huge let-down!

I never made the same mistake again.  In subsequent races I positioned myself closer to the start line and my time improved!

I had to laugh though when I saw the ribbon...I would be so happy if I finished a race now with an 8 minute mile pace!  If I crack a 12 minute mile I am ecstatic! 

Grete Waitz, my hero from the 1970s!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

LOVE!

There are so many things I love...I love my grandson Alex, my two sons Tommy (even if he is deceased he is still my son) and Steve, and my daughter Alison. I love my mom and the rest of my family. 

I love my work; I have such love and admiration for the people I work with.... they are awesome.

I love to run, walk, hike and ride my mountain bike.

I love the warm weather. 

I love the sun rise and sunset. 

I love the beautiful white tailed deer that come by every evening. 

I love the cute little humming birds that brighten the day all summer long.

I love the crazy squirrels and little chipmunks that come around several times a day.


Our resident chipmunk  "Mr Chippie".


I love the cardinals, blue jays, swallows, crows, blue birds and other birds that constantly visit  our bird feeders.

I love the stars in the summer sky and the sounds of summer insects.

There is so much to love in this incredible world! 

Life is truly wonderful!

Isn't love grand?