The Long Goodbye

My 4th birthday, my mother holds the cake she baked while I pull the candles out,  She was the best Mom!

I have written about my mother.  She is suffering from Dementia and is now in the end stages.  She is incontinent, non-ambulatory and unable to feed herself.  She cannot hold a spoon, she cannot drink or eat without the threat of aspiration.  Her food must be pureed to a thick liquid and her liquids must be thickened to a soupy mixture, fed to her with a spoon.  She recently was hospitalized with aspiration pneumonia; we almost lost her.  She may be well enough to return to the nursing home tomorrow or Wednesday; we will see.

I hate Dementia!  It has taken a strong, vital, warm and funny woman and changed her into a fearful woman who no longer recognizes those who love her.  It truly is, as Maureen Regan said, "the long good-bye".
I hope I can avoid this horrible disease, even though many in my family have suffered from it.  I am, however, determined to do all I can not to suffer as my mother is suffering.

Will running, hiking and biking keep me from Dementia?  I do not know, but I am sure going to try!

I love my mother with all my heart and I wish I could make her better.  She was the best mother!  She always put everyone else first, herself last.  I am so grateful she was my mom!

Today was beautiful!  My mother looked out the window and said very softly "It is beautiful outside".  I told her I thought it was beautiful too.  I decided I would not waste this beautiful day.  It was the perfect day for my favorites...a 3 mile run and a 6 mile ride on my bike on the trails.  I love every moment I have to devote to my favorite things!  I decided I will devote my favorite things to my mother who can no longer do the things she loves.  I hope you took time to enjoy your favorite things too!