14 + 14 = 28

Today I started week 9 of Mark Wills-Weber's 10 - Week Training Plan. I was to run 14 minutes, walk 1 minute times 2 (with a warm-up and cool-down). Well, at 6:30 this morning I had a lot of energy; when I hit the 14 minute run, I just kept going. I ran for 28 minutes straight and felt GREAT! I know that I was supposed to stop after 14 minutes and walk for a minute, but I thought, "What is a minute? A minute is hardly any time at all", so I kept running. Now, when Wednesday comes I may say that a minute is a "nice rest period", but today 28 minutes, with 0% incline and at a 14 MPH pace, I felt on top of the world.

Tonight was a different matter. I was completing my final round of 4 minute walk/1 minute run outside (plus at least a 5 minute warm-up and 5 minute cool-down) for First Strides at Vorhees State Park and I felt challenged. The first two one minute runs were down hill, nice and easy, but the last minute run was up hill and it was harder than my 28 minute run on the treadmill this morning! It was an "Ouch" moment! The 15 minute walk/run sequence was in the middle of a total 40 minute walk and it was a real eye opener, not only because I found it physically challenging but because I saw something in myself. I knew that I was resistant to running outside, but I told myself it was because I didn't want to get injured, I was wrong. I realized tonight that the reason I am hesitant to run outside is because I am too self-conscious; I feel like a fat old lady. I hadn't recognized my feelings before. I can run on a treadmill because there is no one to see me (except for Beauregard my cat, and he loves me as long as I feed him) but outside I am prey to ridicule and humiliation. Outside I am vulnerable and it frightens me. I had a hard time on the hill mostly because I saw other people watching me and I became embarrassed.

I don't want this negative thinking to defeat me; I am capable. Just running the 28 minutes, with great energy, on the treadmill proves it.

I am so grateful I have my First Strides group tomorrow night. I need the support!