Well, I entered week three of First Strides on Wednesday morning. We had our stretch, 5 minute warm up with 3 minutes easy and 2 minute run times 4 and a 5 minute cool down and stretches. I felt G-R-E-A-T!!! I had no pain in my joints, I never got out of breath. It was a beautiful day! I don't think there is one cranky lady in the whole group. Everyone is so easy to talk to, so happy to be there. The Mentors are inspirational and their "stories" really motivate you before you start the workout.
Today I had my picture taken in my running cropped pants and a short, fitting coral shirt. I felt so self-conscious, it was so embarrassing. I can't discuss why the picture was taken, but I can express my feelings about the shape of my body. I do feel that my running so far has helped to re-shape my female form. But I do have a long way to go. Having male photographers made me feel so ugly, so old. I know I try to be upbeat, but as soon as I got in my car after the shoot I cried. I will never be 20 again, but I want my female body back; I want a healthy body back. A female assistant asked if the pictures were being taken of women who were going to exercise and diet because wanted their butts smaller. I replied that I hoped not, because I needed a lot more than just a smaller butt.
After the shoot I did my second workout at the beautiful Parkway in Allentown. I was self-conscious at first, but eventually I felt so good about my running that I no longer worried about other people's opinions of me.
It started raining outside tonight as I am writing this blog, the rain and my tears seem connected this day. If I can't have my Tommy back, or my Tom back, then I want my body back. At least my body is something I can control. With so much in life we can't control, why not take back the control of what we can!
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