SICK

Eeeeew!  Ear infection!!

Yesterday I was diagnosed with a sinus infection and ear infections.  I have been feeling tired and like I had water in my ears for the past month.  Well, I did not have water in my ears; I was sicker than I thought!  I know now why I didn't have much energy and felt achy, tired all the time.  But I kept pushing myself to run, whether I felt like running or not.  Now I am forced to take time off from running and from work.  My doctor wanted me to rest until Thursday; no running, just rest and I hate it!  I can't stop thinking about all the cleaning I have to do, all the other chores I have on my list...not to mention my training for a half-marathon.

Then I remind myself of the people in Japan, the people in Libya...and all the people in the world who are faced with monumental crises.  I realize just how lucky I am. I will take my antibiotic as prescribed and I will get better. 

I really cannot complain..my "problems" are minor compared to other people in this world. 

Run Your Butt Off!

I was part of a test panel for Sarah Lorge Butler's book, Run Your Butt Off .  I had a "before" picture taken a couple weeks after I started the running/diet program and less than 10 weeks later had my "after" picture taken.  I joked that my after picture probably looked the same as my before picture, except for a whole lot of make-up.  Well, I just got my copy of the book and I believe that in my "after" picture I look a whole lot heavier (I don't like the pictures)...and, yes, I do have a whole lot more make-up on!

Why is it that so many women beat themselves up over their looks?  I am so critical of myself; I hate seeing pictures of myself. 

Does it really matter what a picture looks like, isn't how healthy we feel more important?  I have lost 13 pounds since my "after" picture was taken (even though the book says I lost 10 pounds, I had lost 12 pounds at the time the picture was taken).  I have more weight to lose, but I feel I have accomplished a lot.  I made it through the holidays and winter months and did not gain an ounce; usually I gain at least 8 pounds!  I can run much farther, for longer, than I was able to run when my days as a test panelist ended. 

Run your Butt Off is an excellent book.  It gives you all the tools necessary to get yourself moving and begin to nurture your body in a healthy way.  I highly recommend Sarah's book; I have followed the running/diet plan and it works!

Pork-Fried Politics

I am a civil servant; I work for the state of New Jersey and I am a member of a Union.  I have always been grateful that I am part of a bargaining unit, that I have a say in my benefits, my future.  I always knew that I could make more money going into the private sector, but I felt staying in my state job gave me security and helped me provide for my children.

Lately there is so much bashing of state workers, like we sleep on the job while making a million dollars a year. Nothing could be further from the truth!

Let me tell you what it is like to be a Social Servant.

I graduated from Fordham University with Honors with a Masters in Social Work. I started out as a social worker for a local county agency, covered by the state civil service system. I was responsible for monitoring people released from State Mental Health Institutions who were placed in boarding homes. One case comes to mind. There was a woman who not only suffered from a mental illness, she had a serious heart condition. Without her psychotropic medications and her heart medications, she would die. Her Physician called me one day to report the boarding home operator had canceled several appointments and by his calculation she was now out of all her medications. I, being young and idealistic, drove out to the boarding home to see her. I must state that this was back in 1980..no cell phones..no "911". When I arrived at the boarding home I was met with the operator's husband holding a sawed off shot gun in his hand. At first he refused to let me in, but being young and idealistic, I pushed past him and insisted he unlock the boarding home door. He did as I asked and I was horrified to see the lady in question lying naked, covered with feces on the floor. I grabbed the boarding home phone,while the husband holding the gun screamed at me how the lady was a "b----". I called her doctor and he asked me if I could to get her into my car and transport her to the local emergency room; I said I would.  I went to her room only to find her clothes were covered in feces. I cleaned her up the best I could, borrowed someone else's clothes and drove her to the emergency room. She almost died; she was in Intensive Care for several weeks. Eventually she recovered and went to live in a wonderful boarding home. This is just one of the hundreds of situations I have dealt with over the past 30 years. If I wanted to make money I would have gone into business or been a corporate lawyer..but I didn't. I wanted to make a difference in the lives of the most vulnerable, most exploited people. I am not a villain; I am not a bad person. I am a dedicated worker!

I now supervise Case Managers and I am in awe of their dedication to their work. They work through their lunch hours. They donate goods to those who are in need. I had a Case Manager who actually made a Christmas celebration happen for one of his families in need. All of them on their own time, without any monetary compensation.

The state workers I know are selfless, dedicated, caring and devoted workers. They give far more than they get...they do not twiddle their thumbs, they work hard! The assault on state workers is not deserved; we did not make the decision not to contribute to our pension, we have contributed towards our health benefits and pension. It was politicians who decided they didn't have to contribute towards the pension system, going back to Christie Whitman.

We are not the "pork"!

We are not to blame for the current state of affairs in the state of New Jersey. We are working hard towards resolving problems...not creating them!

Clearing the big bumps!

I recently wrote a post about experiencing another "bump" in the road of life.  We all experience "bumps", but it is how we deal with them that counts. 
I draw on all the positive, loving people I have had in my life when I face the rough times.  For example, my Nanna (Helen Geist), my Aunt Mamie and my dad.  I was so very close to all three of them. 
Nanna wrote The Califon Story  when I was a young girl.  She would babysit for me every Tuesday and when I was at her home she would read me stories from her book.  I loved her so much..she was not only my grandmother, but my closest confidant!
Aunt Mamie was 80 when I was born.  She gave me "lady lessons" after seeing me wipe my nose on my tee-shirt.  I have never been able relate to the Victorian world she belonged to, but I knew it was very special to be loved by her.
My dad was a genius, he was like a sponge..always soaking up knowledge.  There was never enough time in the day to read, to learn, to understand.  My dad was a constant work in progress.  I loved him with all my heart, even when I was a teenager...... boy did I give him a hard time; I was a wild child for a while!  Regardless, I was his "Babe"..he rarely called me by my name..I was always "Babe" to him.  I miss him so much; I am proud to be a "daddy's girl"!
We travel through life..on an an incredible journey....never sure of what we will encounter next.  It seems to me if we learn from our life experiences, then we gain the tools to weather the "bumps" in the road ahead.
Life is always a work in progress...I can't wait to see what lies ahead! 

Friends

This morning I headed outside, it was 29 Degrees F with a slight breeze.  I needed to run at least 3 miles, so I started out on a trail near Califon. I was slow at first, cold and tired.  I had a lot on my mind and I was feeling down about myself.  The "old tapes" from my childhood sometimes haunt me...I feel less than adequate, a loser.  Certain triggers set me back and it takes a real effort to overcome them.  Running has given me the strength to overcome some of those negative feelings.
As I ran I felt serene, I was in another world; no one could hurt me there.   I decided to turn to another trail with less runners...less people passing me (I am slow).  I love the moments when my legs move effortlessly, gliding along with abandonment.  There were hills, and I climbed them with a wonderful sense of accomplishment.  I ran 6 miles in all....I could have run more miles, but I knew my left leg has been a problem and I need to be careful.

Later I met four beloved, wonderful old friends for lunch.  I have not laughed so hard in months.  Ruth, Anne, Ann and Miss Sheri...I love them so much.  We have shared years of working together, raising our children and our grandchildren (well Sheri, Anne and I...Ann will eventually be a Grammie).  We have gone through watching our children grow and experiencing great accomplishments, as well as devastating losses.  Miss Sheri just lost her incredible Husband Tom; an amazing man who was dedicated to his wife and family.
Life is full of its ups and downs...its good-times and bad-times.  But through it all it is our friends that make it possible to heal.  I never would have made it through losing my son Tommy without my friends.  I never would have made it through losing my husband Tom without my friends.  Without my friends I would find watching my mother suffer from Dementia, unbearable.
Friends are some of the greatest gifts life has to offer, I am so grateful I have the very best of friends!

Cupcake Marathon...yum-yum!

I entered the virtual Cupcake Marathon, sounded like so much fun!  You run 26.2 miles, and you have 2 weeks to do it!   You just have to document your runs...as proof.  You can download your workouts from your Garmin or take pictures of your treadmill with your bib to verify your mileage.

Well...my Garmin is not cooperating and my printer is not printing..so I haven't been able to print out my "bib" yet...what to do, what to do.  I did hand-write my own bib and photographed it next to the mileage on my treadmill.  But most of my miles are run outside and I didn't know how to document them.

I emailed the "Cupcake Marathon" and they told me not to worry, that a log is okay...they "honor" the honor system.  Yippee, I will continue...I am no threat to the one who will win this marathon...virtual or real...I am always slow!  I just want to finish....and finish I will!

I also intend to bake and eat my cupcakes too...the "Cupcake Marathon" sent a delicious cupcake recipe..as my grandson Alex would say, "yummy, yummy in my tummy"!

Coming Of Age..Peace Brother!

I am apparently a "masters" runner, only due to my age...a pseudo-senior citizen...I prefer to refer to myself as a "very slow runner" regardless of my age.  I graduated high school in the early 1970's, received my BSW in 1978...got my MSW from Fordham University in 1979.  I am a product of the "hippie" movement, and quite frankly I am proud of it !  Yes, as one of the Case Managers I supervise described them, I am a "dirty, smelly hippie"!  I loved being at the tail end of the "love" movement!  This period produced so many incredible musicians, humanitarians, philosophers, political advocates and open minded people.  Tolerance was the word...people were not to be "labeled"; they were to be understood and respected.

Okay, I am over the age of 50..but I feel more like 25.  I refuse to be put in a category...to be "labeled"..I am a woman who is spiritual, a woman who loves her friends and especially loves that she knows so many people that differ in their political and spiritual opinions... I LOVE diversity!!!!

I run because I love it, because I feel free...not because I want to run a 5K in 30 minutes or less.   I live my life according to the positive changes I hope to help facilitate in other people's lives.  I love my profession...I have the privilege of meeting incredible families and working with dedicated agencies, making a difference in many people's lives.  

I owe my choice of profession to my experiences in the "summer of love", 1967.

My father was part of a world-wide science symposium in 1967 at the University of California in Berkeley.   The Monterrey Pop Festival occurred while we were there.  For publicity purposes, Janis Joplin and the Holding Company and Jimi Hendrix performed in Berkeley for free.  As a young girl I was there to hear their mini concerts; it was the most incredible music I have ever experienced. Jimi was out of this world, and Janis' voice was beyond amazing!

I participated in "love ins" (when I was supposed to be taking my tennis lessons, I took the "pronto bus" to Haight Ashbury) and I saw people treat each other with such love and respect.  I knew this was the world I wanted to be part of. 

I have advocated for tolerance, for love and yes for "peace"...because without love there is nothing!

Love one another...hold on to your passion...like your love for running!

I leave you with a gift..it is a long video..but it is an awesome one!  

Peace!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xnwa1ccNt0E

Grateful!

I, like millions around the world, have been overwhelmed by the 9.0 magnitude earthquake, devastating tsunami and nuclear crisis that has rocked Japan.  I am at a loss....I cannot imagine.....I hope I never have to experience......and I pray that no more lives are lost.

I feel that the hardships I face are so minute compared to the monster challenges the people in Japan now face. 

I was feeling sad because I have been having so much pain in my left calf and decided to take a few days off from running.  How trivial that seems now; I ran 2.5 miles today pain free.  I have a roof over my head, a job, food in the refrigerator and running water.  I am so fortunate!

I live in a Democracy...I can vote...I am free.  I am one fortunate Grammie!

My mom is in the late stages of Dementia; she knows I am someone she is supposed to know, but she has not called me by my name in many weeks.  She is on pureed food, is unable to take care of any of her basic needs.  She speaks in sentences most of the time, but the "conversation" is confused and not oriented to time and place.  I love her so much and I know that this time we have together is "the long..or short... goodbye".  But at least I have the chance be with her and tell her how much I love her.  I cherish every minute.

My mom as a little girl. 

My mother graduates from high school, she is so beautiful!

 My mom now...she is not oriented to time and place.

Those in Japan suffered such losses, without any "goodbyes"; I am very fortunate.

I am going to wake up every day and give thanks for being alive and for all the wonderful blessings I have been given.


If you want to contribute towards the relief efforts in Japan: https://american.redcross.org/site/Donation2?idb=0&5052.donation=form1&df_id=5052

Life goes on....

Two handsome men: my son Steve and brother-in-law Al, in front of my house in Pennsylvania

I once had a house, well a half-double house, in Pennsylvania.  I bought the house after living many years in a 2 bedroom apartment, sharing a room with my daughter and my 2 boys sharing the other bedroom.  My house was small, but cozy and I was proud that I was able to buy my own home.  I had 2 other houses when I was married, but then there were 2 incomes, with only my income my choices were limited.

I couldn't wait to have gardens and a hammock.  I turned the front yard into a rose garden (with some perennials) and the backyard into flowering bushes and room for a very comfy hammock (LL Bean hammock). 

My house had a beautiful porch; I loved sitting on my porch rocking on my sliding bench, especially at night.  I stenciled my favorite things above the door and on the steps.  I planted my favorite flowers in the 2 flower boxes and I hung my favorite baskets...bridal veil..so lovely!

I kept my house clean..cluttered at places, but very clean.  I terminated any cobwebs, dirt foot prints, dust and attended to any misplaced belongings.  I loved my house, my home.

But then Tom and I (we remarried after our son Tommy passed away) moved to Califon to take care of my mother.  The house in Easton would never be the same. Now it has bags of garbage, broken flower pots, and clutter all over the front porch (the porch I painted every Spring has not been painted since I left), the house that was my pride and joy is beautiful no more.
Life is full of changes and I know it is wrong to hold onto the past.  There will be a chance to beautify my home again, and I will read books in my hammock and savor the beauty of my new flowers.  Life will continue to move ahead; so much happiness exists in my life!

I am holding onto the goals I have set for myself; positive goals.  I will run the Half-Marathon and the Warrior Dash.  I will continue to over-see my mother's affairs because I love my mom. I have many friends and I am blessed.  Life is oh so good!

They Are still Here!

A year ago I began writing this blog to docment my progress as I followed Mark Will-Webber's Beginning Running Program.  I did not "publish" the blog for several months, just wanting to keep it "private".  I wrote the following post 7 weeks into my new journey.  I remember how excited I was to see my body starting to change:

"About 5 or 6 years ago I began to notice something about my body. My mid-section became wider and rounder and my hips and waist disappeared. My butt disappeared too, replaced by a great big triangle. Someone told me that this often happens to women when they reach menopause.



Today I completed week 7 from Runners World's Mark Will-Webber's 10 Week Beginning Running Training Plan. I feel like I have so much more energy and I am so excited that I ran 10 minutes straight (not just 9) without any problem.


Because I wanted to see if my body was changing I forced myself to look in the mirror. I am happy to announce that I have indeed located my waist and my hips. They are still in the beginning stages of formation, but they are there! I also found that my butt has returned, no longer is there a big triangle, just a big butt! I am thrilled, I feel like I just discovered a new solar system.


Dan Quayle said: 'It's time for the human race to enter the solar system' (well, what do you expect from Dan Quayle?). But I would say: 'This human has discovered her own solar system as she takes time to enter the race to run 30 minutes straight!'."

I look forward to continuing this wonderful adventure and I love seeing how my body continues to change; it is all good!