I wish my friend Cheryl, and all runners, the best tomorow at the St. Luke's Half Marathon. I wish I could be there with you; maybe next year. My heart...my cheers are with you!
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Running on Love
I am back! I have been running on the trails the past 3 days and I feel strong. I need to work on my speed, but I am so happy being outside running with the sun shining and the birds singing..thank God winter is finally over! I signed up for a half-marathon in September ( making my doctor happy). I will train wisely and carefully..I know that I am not 20 years old, but I am not over the hill either!
I now have diagnosed myself with "Royal Wedding Fever"; I love Prince William and Kate Middleton. I wish the best for them. I remember how I woke up early back in1981 to see beautiful Diana marry the not so beautiful Charles. It was an incredible wedding. After the wedding things didn't go perfectly for the couple, but they had two wonderful sons.
Diana did become the "Queen of Hearts". The way she embraced the terminally ill...children with aides...children who were victims of land mines...she was a very special lady. I just loved her!
So I will be up at 4:00 am to watch this wedding...with my Fascinator hat on...loving every second!
Then I will take a run..3 miles or more...running on Romanticism...running on love!
I now have diagnosed myself with "Royal Wedding Fever"; I love Prince William and Kate Middleton. I wish the best for them. I remember how I woke up early back in1981 to see beautiful Diana marry the not so beautiful Charles. It was an incredible wedding. After the wedding things didn't go perfectly for the couple, but they had two wonderful sons.
Diana did become the "Queen of Hearts". The way she embraced the terminally ill...children with aides...children who were victims of land mines...she was a very special lady. I just loved her!
So I will be up at 4:00 am to watch this wedding...with my Fascinator hat on...loving every second!
Then I will take a run..3 miles or more...running on Romanticism...running on love!
My Fascinator hat!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
HEALING
I am not going to run the Half Marathon this coming weekend; I followed my doctor's advice to cut back on my running. I had repeat ear/sinus infections, plus another health scare that now seems to be okay. I am planning on running a half -marathon in September. I still have the Warrior Dash in June and another race in August.
My "scare" rocketed me back to 2008 when my husband Tom was diagnosed with terminal liver disease. The diagnosis came on May 8, 2008; he died at home while on Hospice on June 9, 2008, the 35th anniversary of our first marriage.
I met Tom way back in 1972. He was a dashing, handsome 24 year old young man, five years older than me. We had such a freedom between us; I never was so happy. We married and had a wonderful son, Thomas Alexander (named after Tom and my dad, Alexander). Tommy could not breathe immediately after birth; the doctor and nurses whisked him away. Tom and I looked at each other for what seemed an eternity, then a small cry was heard. Tom immediately yelled "That's my boy!". We were over-joyed that our son survived such a difficult birth. Sometimes I think God gave him to us for a time; but we did not make the best of that time. Tommy deserved better.
Our first marriage didn't survive. For years I wanted to believe it was all Tom's fault; but it was equally, if not mostly, my fault. For years I refused to let Tom see his son. When Tommy was old enough, he tried to find Tom without success. I had kept in touch with Tom's parents, who loved Tommy very much. But after Tom's dad passed his mom moved away and I lost touch. Tommy died in that horrible car accident on July 30, 2005, never reuniting with his dad.
A few months after Tommy died I heard from one of Tom's best friends. He had been in touch with Tom and could Tom contact me? I said "yes"; feeling panic over how much Tommy wanted to see his father; it was not fair that Tom would appear too late for Tommy to see him again. The first time I spoke to Tom I felt such a familiarity. When we first saw each other after all those years...well, it was as though no time had passed. I was back in that wonderfully familiar place. We talked and talked...we realized how much we loved each other. We forgave each other for the hurts of the past..we felt that our precious Tommy had his hand in our reuniting. I sometimes would hear Tom sobbing...all alone...heart broken that his son was gone. At other times we cried together...mourning precious Tommy. Tom and I re-married on August 23, 2006.
Then Tom and I went to Califon, New Jersey to help take care of my mother after she suffered a stroke. Tommy had taken care of mom three years earlier after she broke her hip. He stopped working so that he could provide physical assistance, cook for her and drive her to her therapy appointments. After mom had her stroke, Tom and I took care of her and made sure she got to doctor appointments, therapy, hair appointments, church, etc.
Eighteen months after we moved to Califon, Tom, who had been feeling ill, went into the hospital; it was April 30, 2008. Tom came home on Hospice on May 8, 2008. He passed away June 9, 2008. Being with this precious man when he died was an privilege...he was buried with our son. Tom and Tommy are together forever...as it should be!
My recent health scare was nothing compared to what Tom faced being on Hospice. His courage, his strength and "grace" continue to be an inspiration. I was in a panic because of my little health scare...because I could not run this weekend's half- marathon....how silly it looks to me when I think of Tommy and Tom. So what if I had to delay my first half-marathon, I am able to return to my training. I have my health, my dreams! I owe it to Tommy and Tom to continue to live life to the fullest!
.
My "scare" rocketed me back to 2008 when my husband Tom was diagnosed with terminal liver disease. The diagnosis came on May 8, 2008; he died at home while on Hospice on June 9, 2008, the 35th anniversary of our first marriage.
I met Tom way back in 1972. He was a dashing, handsome 24 year old young man, five years older than me. We had such a freedom between us; I never was so happy. We married and had a wonderful son, Thomas Alexander (named after Tom and my dad, Alexander). Tommy could not breathe immediately after birth; the doctor and nurses whisked him away. Tom and I looked at each other for what seemed an eternity, then a small cry was heard. Tom immediately yelled "That's my boy!". We were over-joyed that our son survived such a difficult birth. Sometimes I think God gave him to us for a time; but we did not make the best of that time. Tommy deserved better.
Our first marriage didn't survive. For years I wanted to believe it was all Tom's fault; but it was equally, if not mostly, my fault. For years I refused to let Tom see his son. When Tommy was old enough, he tried to find Tom without success. I had kept in touch with Tom's parents, who loved Tommy very much. But after Tom's dad passed his mom moved away and I lost touch. Tommy died in that horrible car accident on July 30, 2005, never reuniting with his dad.
A few months after Tommy died I heard from one of Tom's best friends. He had been in touch with Tom and could Tom contact me? I said "yes"; feeling panic over how much Tommy wanted to see his father; it was not fair that Tom would appear too late for Tommy to see him again. The first time I spoke to Tom I felt such a familiarity. When we first saw each other after all those years...well, it was as though no time had passed. I was back in that wonderfully familiar place. We talked and talked...we realized how much we loved each other. We forgave each other for the hurts of the past..we felt that our precious Tommy had his hand in our reuniting. I sometimes would hear Tom sobbing...all alone...heart broken that his son was gone. At other times we cried together...mourning precious Tommy. Tom and I re-married on August 23, 2006.
Then Tom and I went to Califon, New Jersey to help take care of my mother after she suffered a stroke. Tommy had taken care of mom three years earlier after she broke her hip. He stopped working so that he could provide physical assistance, cook for her and drive her to her therapy appointments. After mom had her stroke, Tom and I took care of her and made sure she got to doctor appointments, therapy, hair appointments, church, etc.
Eighteen months after we moved to Califon, Tom, who had been feeling ill, went into the hospital; it was April 30, 2008. Tom came home on Hospice on May 8, 2008. He passed away June 9, 2008. Being with this precious man when he died was an privilege...he was buried with our son. Tom and Tommy are together forever...as it should be!
My recent health scare was nothing compared to what Tom faced being on Hospice. His courage, his strength and "grace" continue to be an inspiration. I was in a panic because of my little health scare...because I could not run this weekend's half- marathon....how silly it looks to me when I think of Tommy and Tom. So what if I had to delay my first half-marathon, I am able to return to my training. I have my health, my dreams! I owe it to Tommy and Tom to continue to live life to the fullest!
Tom and I cut our wedding cake back on June 9, 1973.
.Our son Thomas Alexander Brown with his precious cat, Easter Lilly.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Good-bye my friend!
I went to a funeral service today for a wonderful, incredible man named Harry. Harry cared so much for all people, regardless of sex, race, religion or diagnosis. He was truly a "force of nature". He touched so many people's lives. He was passionate, a tireless advocate for those who were the most vulnerable.Harry and I had an interesting relationship. I loved him with all my heart, but he scared me. I respected him as a co-worker and I appreciated his sense of humor...I especially cherish our frequent bantering. But he never seemed to have clear objectives in life...how can you commit to someone who does not know what they really want in life?
At the end, Harry's legacy was what he gave to others..and he gave far more than he took...he was a generous, loving soul. He was a renegade who never followed the rules. After all, rules meant some really needy people got nothing. Harry made sure that those who were in dire need got what they needed even if it meant bending the rules. There are a whole lot of people out there that love him and are incredibly grateful to him.
I love him and I am so grateful he was in my life. To be his friend was a blessing and a privilege.
Rest in peace Harry...you will be missed and you will be cherished forever!
Life is a gift, how we live our lives is up to us. Taking the road towards a healthy lifestyle is so important! I do not want to take for granted one second of this life I have been given. Maybe I am not ready to run that marathon right now, but I am running faster and longer than I could six months ago and that in itself is so very rewarding!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Happy Spring!
I haven't ventured far from the house due to side effects from the medication I am on for my ear and sinus infection. This morning I felt a little better and felt like getting outside and exercising. Today is one of my "rest" days, so I thought...hmmmm...54 degrees F...cloudy...perfect weather for a ride on my mountain bike!
Yes, spring has finally arrived after this long snowy winter. I am so excited, longer days...warmer days...more time to run, ride, garden and just enjoy being outside with nature!
Happy spring everyone!
My Trek bike loaded up and ready to go (taken last summer)!
I drove to the trail and started out..wicking turtleneck, rolled up blue jeans and a fleece top. I was so excited, back on the trail after almost 6 months! There were many signs of spring..beautiful little wild flowers blooming, budding trees and tiny yellow blooms on the forsythia bushes! I really regretted not taking my camera along....but I did get a nice picture of sprouting skunk cabbage the other day. Skunk cabbage is a sign of spring; many animals think skunk cabbage is delicious and it provides them with nourishment after the long winter months! 
Sprouting skunk cabbage, a sign of spring! Yeah!!!
I turned around at the 4 mile mark. Eight miles is enough for the first ride of the season...my legs were fine, but....butt...was not! The first ride is always the most challenging.Yes, spring has finally arrived after this long snowy winter. I am so excited, longer days...warmer days...more time to run, ride, garden and just enjoy being outside with nature!
Happy spring everyone!
Friday, April 8, 2011
SICK AGAIN!
I finished the antibiotics my doctor prescribed for me on March 28, 2011 on April 1, 2011. The medicine was suppose to keep working for 5 more days, but on April 6, 2011 I woke up with excruciating pain in both my ears and in my sinuses. I went back to my doctor and he said the infection had not resolved, so he put me on a different, more potent antibiotic. I had a horrible upset stomach this morning; I think it was from the medicine. I did feel a little better tonight. I have to make sure I take the antibiotic with food...I took it without food last night.
I am worried about the half marathon I am supposed to run in May. I have not kept up with my training schedule the last 3 weeks because of my illness. I am in a quandary...do I run or do I look forward to another half marathon?
Has anyone reading this ever experienced the same barriers? Did you pick up your training as nothing ever happened...did you modify your training and go on to run the half marathon?
I would appreciate any advice...any comments.
Meanwhile I will leave you with an inspirational article; I hope I am able to accomplish what Gladys has accomplished in 92 years:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42427918/ns/us_news-life/?fb_ref=story_text&fb_source=profile_oneline
I am worried about the half marathon I am supposed to run in May. I have not kept up with my training schedule the last 3 weeks because of my illness. I am in a quandary...do I run or do I look forward to another half marathon?
Has anyone reading this ever experienced the same barriers? Did you pick up your training as nothing ever happened...did you modify your training and go on to run the half marathon?
I would appreciate any advice...any comments.
Meanwhile I will leave you with an inspirational article; I hope I am able to accomplish what Gladys has accomplished in 92 years:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42427918/ns/us_news-life/?fb_ref=story_text&fb_source=profile_oneline
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Passion
I have been thinking a lot about passion today. Passion is the ultimate motivator for us to achieve our dreams.
I have a passion to advocate for those who cannot advocate for themselves; those who cannot speak for themselves. I feel that I have been blessed hundreds of times over having chosen the field of Social Work. I have spent the past 30 years of my life working with individuals who have been diagnosed with a "developmental disability". The families and individuals I have worked with have inspired and humbled me more times than I can count. I try never to take for granted the "gifts" I have been granted. These "gifts" include being able to talk, walk, dress myself, feed myself, toilet myself, drive a car, run, ride a bicycle and have general good health.
I also have a passion for running; running for the sake of feeling free.....moving without boundaries of time and space. I guess that is why I do not care so much about competitive running. I just want to run on my favorite trails without limitations.
The first time I was exposed to "freedom" was during the summer of 1967 when my family was in Berkeley, California; I have written of this before. I saw such passion, such freedom in so many during that summer. I was just a young girl, but the likes of Jimi Hendrix opened my eyes to so much. He was so handsome, so one with the guitar, and his voice was mesmerizing. I was completely hooked! I wanted that passion...I wanted that connection..and I was fortunate to have such a passion in my life. I am not famous or wealthy, but I am gratified that I had a chance to do what I felt compelled to do with my life.
I will leave you with Jimi performing Purple Haze in Berkeley, California 1967: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKaBnJWOUhI&playnext=1&list=PLD6EC2965BD2894DF
Jimi is full of passion!
Never give up...live your passion!
I have a passion to advocate for those who cannot advocate for themselves; those who cannot speak for themselves. I feel that I have been blessed hundreds of times over having chosen the field of Social Work. I have spent the past 30 years of my life working with individuals who have been diagnosed with a "developmental disability". The families and individuals I have worked with have inspired and humbled me more times than I can count. I try never to take for granted the "gifts" I have been granted. These "gifts" include being able to talk, walk, dress myself, feed myself, toilet myself, drive a car, run, ride a bicycle and have general good health.
I also have a passion for running; running for the sake of feeling free.....moving without boundaries of time and space. I guess that is why I do not care so much about competitive running. I just want to run on my favorite trails without limitations.
The first time I was exposed to "freedom" was during the summer of 1967 when my family was in Berkeley, California; I have written of this before. I saw such passion, such freedom in so many during that summer. I was just a young girl, but the likes of Jimi Hendrix opened my eyes to so much. He was so handsome, so one with the guitar, and his voice was mesmerizing. I was completely hooked! I wanted that passion...I wanted that connection..and I was fortunate to have such a passion in my life. I am not famous or wealthy, but I am gratified that I had a chance to do what I felt compelled to do with my life.
I will leave you with Jimi performing Purple Haze in Berkeley, California 1967: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKaBnJWOUhI&playnext=1&list=PLD6EC2965BD2894DF
Jimi is full of passion!
Never give up...live your passion!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Recovering!
I was amazed at how good I felt after being on antibiotics for a few days. I guess I didn't realize how sick I was! I was achy, tired, my neck was sore and I felt like my ears were full of water for quite a while before I finally went to a doctor.
I read many blogs on running and it seems there are a few of us out there that try and minimize our aches and pains, continuing to push ourselves when we should be taking time off to rest. I think I learned a lesson: to listen to my body.
My mileage this week is way below normal, 10.56 miles. But today I ran 4 energetic miles! I haven't run that fast or that effortless in over 2 months. I guess I did need some time off to heal.
Whether I run the half marathon in May remains to be seen. Maybe I will have to lower my expectations and run a slower time. I guess I will see how my training goes over the next few weeks.
I do love running! I am a "runner" whether I run a race or not. I am so grateful that I have the ability to run...to run as fast or as slow as I desire...to run free, and with joy!
I read many blogs on running and it seems there are a few of us out there that try and minimize our aches and pains, continuing to push ourselves when we should be taking time off to rest. I think I learned a lesson: to listen to my body.
My mileage this week is way below normal, 10.56 miles. But today I ran 4 energetic miles! I haven't run that fast or that effortless in over 2 months. I guess I did need some time off to heal.
Whether I run the half marathon in May remains to be seen. Maybe I will have to lower my expectations and run a slower time. I guess I will see how my training goes over the next few weeks.
Love my trails!
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