I am not going to run the Half Marathon this coming weekend; I followed my doctor's advice to cut back on my running. I had repeat ear/sinus infections, plus another health scare that now seems to be okay. I am planning on running a half -marathon in September. I still have the Warrior Dash in June and another race in August.
My "scare" rocketed me back to 2008 when my husband Tom was diagnosed with terminal liver disease. The diagnosis came on May 8, 2008; he died at home while on Hospice on June 9, 2008, the 35th anniversary of our first marriage.
I met Tom way back in 1972. He was a dashing, handsome 24 year old young man, five years older than me. We had such a freedom between us; I never was so happy. We married and had a wonderful son, Thomas Alexander (named after Tom and my dad, Alexander). Tommy could not breathe immediately after birth; the doctor and nurses whisked him away. Tom and I looked at each other for what seemed an eternity, then a small cry was heard. Tom immediately yelled "That's my boy!". We were over-joyed that our son survived such a difficult birth. Sometimes I think God gave him to us for a time; but we did not make the best of that time. Tommy deserved better.
Our first marriage didn't survive. For years I wanted to believe it was all Tom's fault; but it was equally, if not mostly, my fault. For years I refused to let Tom see his son. When Tommy was old enough, he tried to find Tom without success. I had kept in touch with Tom's parents, who loved Tommy very much. But after Tom's dad passed his mom moved away and I lost touch. Tommy died in that horrible car accident on July 30, 2005, never reuniting with his dad.
A few months after Tommy died I heard from one of Tom's best friends. He had been in touch with Tom and could Tom contact me? I said "yes"; feeling panic over how much Tommy wanted to see his father; it was not fair that Tom would appear too late for Tommy to see him again. The first time I spoke to Tom I felt such a familiarity. When we first saw each other after all those years...well, it was as though no time had passed. I was back in that wonderfully familiar place. We talked and talked...we realized how much we loved each other. We forgave each other for the hurts of the past..we felt that our precious Tommy had his hand in our reuniting. I sometimes would hear Tom sobbing...all alone...heart broken that his son was gone. At other times we cried together...mourning precious Tommy. Tom and I re-married on August 23, 2006.
Then Tom and I went to Califon, New Jersey to help take care of my mother after she suffered a stroke. Tommy had taken care of mom three years earlier after she broke her hip. He stopped working so that he could provide physical assistance, cook for her and drive her to her therapy appointments. After mom had her stroke, Tom and I took care of her and made sure she got to doctor appointments, therapy, hair appointments, church, etc.
Eighteen months after we moved to Califon, Tom, who had been feeling ill, went into the hospital; it was April 30, 2008. Tom came home on Hospice on May 8, 2008. He passed away June 9, 2008. Being with this precious man when he died was an privilege...he was buried with our son. Tom and Tommy are together forever...as it should be!
My recent health scare was nothing compared to what Tom faced being on Hospice. His courage, his strength and "grace" continue to be an inspiration. I was in a panic because of my little health scare...because I could not run this weekend's half- marathon....how silly it looks to me when I think of Tommy and Tom. So what if I had to delay my first half-marathon, I am able to return to my training. I have my health, my dreams! I owe it to Tommy and Tom to continue to live life to the fullest!
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My "scare" rocketed me back to 2008 when my husband Tom was diagnosed with terminal liver disease. The diagnosis came on May 8, 2008; he died at home while on Hospice on June 9, 2008, the 35th anniversary of our first marriage.
I met Tom way back in 1972. He was a dashing, handsome 24 year old young man, five years older than me. We had such a freedom between us; I never was so happy. We married and had a wonderful son, Thomas Alexander (named after Tom and my dad, Alexander). Tommy could not breathe immediately after birth; the doctor and nurses whisked him away. Tom and I looked at each other for what seemed an eternity, then a small cry was heard. Tom immediately yelled "That's my boy!". We were over-joyed that our son survived such a difficult birth. Sometimes I think God gave him to us for a time; but we did not make the best of that time. Tommy deserved better.
Our first marriage didn't survive. For years I wanted to believe it was all Tom's fault; but it was equally, if not mostly, my fault. For years I refused to let Tom see his son. When Tommy was old enough, he tried to find Tom without success. I had kept in touch with Tom's parents, who loved Tommy very much. But after Tom's dad passed his mom moved away and I lost touch. Tommy died in that horrible car accident on July 30, 2005, never reuniting with his dad.
A few months after Tommy died I heard from one of Tom's best friends. He had been in touch with Tom and could Tom contact me? I said "yes"; feeling panic over how much Tommy wanted to see his father; it was not fair that Tom would appear too late for Tommy to see him again. The first time I spoke to Tom I felt such a familiarity. When we first saw each other after all those years...well, it was as though no time had passed. I was back in that wonderfully familiar place. We talked and talked...we realized how much we loved each other. We forgave each other for the hurts of the past..we felt that our precious Tommy had his hand in our reuniting. I sometimes would hear Tom sobbing...all alone...heart broken that his son was gone. At other times we cried together...mourning precious Tommy. Tom and I re-married on August 23, 2006.
Then Tom and I went to Califon, New Jersey to help take care of my mother after she suffered a stroke. Tommy had taken care of mom three years earlier after she broke her hip. He stopped working so that he could provide physical assistance, cook for her and drive her to her therapy appointments. After mom had her stroke, Tom and I took care of her and made sure she got to doctor appointments, therapy, hair appointments, church, etc.
Eighteen months after we moved to Califon, Tom, who had been feeling ill, went into the hospital; it was April 30, 2008. Tom came home on Hospice on May 8, 2008. He passed away June 9, 2008. Being with this precious man when he died was an privilege...he was buried with our son. Tom and Tommy are together forever...as it should be!
My recent health scare was nothing compared to what Tom faced being on Hospice. His courage, his strength and "grace" continue to be an inspiration. I was in a panic because of my little health scare...because I could not run this weekend's half- marathon....how silly it looks to me when I think of Tommy and Tom. So what if I had to delay my first half-marathon, I am able to return to my training. I have my health, my dreams! I owe it to Tommy and Tom to continue to live life to the fullest!
Tom and I cut our wedding cake back on June 9, 1973.
.Our son Thomas Alexander Brown with his precious cat, Easter Lilly.
4 comments:
Your post brought me to tears. Glad you are fine. You will run that half marathon and probably many of them.
I will run one for you this next weekend.
HUGS to you!
Darlene, I would feel that I was accomplished if I were able to run half the number of races you run..not to mention your speed; I am much slower!
Thank you Natty..I feel blessed that you are running a half maraton for me this weekend! I hope you exceed your goal! Please let me know how the race went!
Thank you Lori!
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