Aunt Mamie says, "Ladies don't run"!

I started this Blog because I wanted to document my journey back to being "a runner".  I have always loved running.  I have vivid memories from childhood of running through the streets of Califon, down River Road to the Ken Lockwood Gorge.  Growing up in little Califon New Jersey was paradise!  This little one square mile town nestled in a valley had every thing a child could wish for...a town that was like an extended family and the beautiful countryside that offered endless hours of adventure!

My Aunt Mamie, my Grandmother's Helen Geist's older sister, was a tremendous influence in my life.  She was 80 years old when I was born and very Victorian in her views.  When I was very young, about 4 1/2 years old, I wiped my nose on my tee shirt in front of her; she was horrified and insisted I come to her house at least once a week for what I called my "lady lessons".  So for over a year I walked up the hill to Aunt Mamie's house for my lessons.  She taught me to read from a large King James Version Bible.  I loved the way she would close her eyes as I read, mouthing the words to the bible verses she knew by heart.  She also taught me to walk like a lady with a book balanced on my head, how to sit properly, how to set the table and how to make some simple dishes.


I must admit, she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.  My mother told me Aunt Mamie was a beautiful woman when she was young; large eyes, ivory skin and red curly hair.  When I looked at Aunt Mamie I always saw a young, beautiful woman with flaming red hair pulled up on a bun on her head; a young woman full of intelligence, wisdom and faith.  Aunt Mamie married an older Elston Beaty towards the end of the 19th century, who would become the first Mayor of Califon, New Jersey.

My Great Aunt Mamie, she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. 

There was a winding staircase that went from the kitchen to the bedroom in her house.  I was to walk up and down the staircase balancing the book on my head to learn to hold myself properly; to walk like a lady.  I enjoyed this exercise and took it even further; I ran up and down the stair case with the book on my head.  One day Aunt Mamie must have heard my loud footsteps as I ran and she called to me "Little ladies do not run!"  So I stopped; but I have often wondered what she would think of my passion for running.  I like to think that in secret she would enjoy the fact that I ventured further than she thought would be possible for a woman of her time.

A recent picture of the house that Aunt Mamie and Uncle Elston built in Califon, New Jersey.

Here is to reaching further than thought possible...dream big...dream from your heart and may all your dreams come true!

SNOW RUNNING!

There was a fierce snow storm across the State of New Jersey yesterday into this morning that left many people shoveling out from under of a whole lot of snow; over 2 feet in some areas.


My office was closed, so I took my time shoveling out the driveway. I planned on a quiet morning of catching up on reading the New York Times, a 3 mile run on the treadmill in the afternoon and finishing up reading Keith Richard's autobiography Life (I am loving this book, it is written just like he talks!).

Well, the day didn't exactly go as planned. When I started my car there was that darn "check engine" light on! I called the Service Department at the Toyota Dealer and they said not to worry, that it is safe to drive the car. I made an appointment to take my 2009 Toyota Corolla in to be checked on Thursday (wonder how much that is going to cost!).

Later, I was only a tenth of a mile into my run when the darn treadmill belt popped. There is no way I can fix it so I will have to call a service repairman to come to the house to repair it ( wonder how much that is going to cost!).

I was so annoyed, nothing was going as planned and I had to get my run in today. I changed into my running tights, wind pants, turtleneck, fleece, windbreaker and Trailheads hat and headed off to the park. It was 26 degrees with 30 mph winds, but the sun was shining! The park was only plowed into the entrance area, the rest of the roads and trails were unplowed. I noticed there were a couple cross country skiers on one of the trails so I took off running down the road. I have never run on unplowed roads or trails before (as an adult), but friends have described it as being similar to running on sand. It was similar, but I felt I had more traction in the snow. It was glorious! I loved running through the fields and the trails; some parts were barely snow covered while other areas were almost a foot deep. I felt like a little kid! I didn't mind the wind blowing the snow into my face at times; it actually felt refreshing. Forty-five minutes later I finished my run feeling exhilarated and energized! I forgot just how much fun it is to run in the snow!


It seemed there for a while that the day was not going to be the best, but it turned out to be a day full of adventure and fun!  I love running in the snow!

It is nice to be nice!

Well, for me Christmas is over and I am sitting here watching the snow fall outside my window.  It is a beautiful sight, but my heart is wishing for  45-50 degree day with plentiful sunshine!  Perfect running weather!

I have written about how difficult it is for me during the Holidays because I miss my son Tommy and husband Tom so much.  But two things happened that made me feel the sweetness of them being close.

On Christmas Eve I received a Christmas card from my sister-in-law Linda.  It was a beautiful card, but the hand written message inside was even more beautiful.  She wrote: "I am glad that my brother had you in his life, the first part and the end part...He loved sending cards...Back in 2006 I received a Christmas card from both of you which I kept (A snowy scene of 2 cardinal birds, male and female, perched on a pine overlooking a small country Church)". 

The morning Tom passed away I sat in the hammock in the back yard feeling numb and empty.  I heard birds singing and I looked towards the tree next to where I was sitting and saw 2 cardinals, both male, looking down at me.  I thought to myself that they represented Tom and Tommy together again; it gave me such comfort.

Yes, my husband loved sending cards, and writing little notes.  I would often open the car door on my way to work in the morning and find a hand-written note telling me how much he loved me.  He always remembered important dates with a card.  One birthday card became infamous, the "You're so nice to know" card.  I constantly teased him about the card.  Inside it said "Happy Birthday!  Just thinking of the very special person that you are.  Of all there is about you to admire.  And hoping on your birthday that you know how much you mean and how truly you deserve your heart's desire".  Tom signed it "Love you, love Tommy M. and Tommy A."  Tom was "Tommy M" and our son Tommy (who perished in a car accident in 2005) was "Tommy A".  At the time I was expecting a romantic card, telling me how much he loved me...ex cetera.  At the time I was disappointed that all he could think of was that I "was nice to know".

Yesterday, Christmas day, my daughter Alison, son Steve, grandson Alex and I walked up the block to visit my cousin Roberta and Aunt Sophie.  Alex was adorable, but didn't listen to his mother so his mother took him outside to have a talk with him.  Later when when I was walking him back to my house he said he didn't know why his mother was upset with him because he was a "nice boy".  I agreed that he was a nice boy, but I told him that his mother wants to make sure he listens to her.  He thought for a moment and then said "Grammie, you are such a nice person!".  I giggled and thanked him, but he didn't like that I didn't take him seriously and he said "No, Grammie, I am serious you are a very nice person...you are very nice to know". 

I immediately thought of the birthday card I received from Tom all those years ago; the card I teased him about.  I suddenly realized how wonderful the words were; "You're so nice to know.....truly you deserve your heart's desire".  Thank you Tom for the most precious birthday card I have ever received.

I think when I finally pass from this world I want the words"She was a nice person to know" engraved on my headstone.

We all need to remind ourselves of how we deserve our heart's desire; with the new year upon us, may we all achieve our heart's desire!

Happy Birthday to me, I am in the prime of my life!

Today is Christmas, but it is also my birthday.  My cousin Roberta, Aunt Sophie, cousin Amy, cousin Cheryl, daughter Alison, friends Sue, Betty, Linda and Kenny remembered as of the time I am writing this post.  Actually, it is amazing that anyone remembered since I have spent the last few years of my life trying to forget my birthday. 

But for some reason I am so proud of the fact that I lived 58 years, and counting.  My Aunt Alma will be 95 this year and she is still counting!  Aunt Alma has such a great attitude, she keeps active and reads the newspaper every day, she is so engaged in life. 

My mom is 90, but she is in a place where time and place is non-existent.  Dementia steals your life away from you.

As long as I know who and where I am, I am going to live my life to the fullest. My grandson alex and I celebrated my birthday with a big brownie and ice cream!

Yummy! 

This year I will continue to work towards my running goals; finish the New York City Half Marathon and the River Towns Marathon in May 2011.

I am excited for my 58th year.  I am no longer afraid to admit how old I am; I am proud to be a "young" 58 year old woman.  Why, I am in the prime of my life! 

Merry Christmas!

Well Christmas day is almost here the most hectic wonderful time of the year.  It is also my birthday; I will be moving on up in my 50's even though I feel more like 30.

I was supposed to run 4 miles this morning, but I had so much to do that after 1 1/2 miles I stopped so that I could attend to my "to do list".  This evening I tried to finish my 4 miles but the treadmill belt was loose so I only made it to 2 1/2 miles.  I will ask my son Steve to help me tighten the belt tomorrow; meanwhile I plan on running on the Columbian Trail in the morning. 

I know that Christmas day is a day of family, a day of celebration.  But Christmas day is also my birthday.  Most of my friends on Facebook will be enjoying their Christmas celebrations, so I won't get many "Happy Birthdays" on Facebook and that is as it should be..Christmas is for family; knowing others have such joy is a gift to me.

I did buy a big brownie today that is decorated in Christmas colored sparkles; my "Birthday Brownie".  

I wish everyone a Joyous Christmas and a Properous New Year!  I look forward to 2011.  I am running the New York City Half Marathon on March 20th ( for Fred's Team) and my first Marathon in May 2011.

Life is never dull, I have never been bored in all my 50+ years.  I look forward to the future; there is so much to explore, so much to learn, so much to do!

The Social Network Story of Christmas

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year! 

I hope you enjoy this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sghwe4TYY18

Milestone

This year I turn 50+ .  I don't know why I have such a hard time revealing my age, but it will be publicly acknowledged in print when Sarah Lorge Butler's book Running your Butt Off is published in March 2011(I am confident I will only be a footnote, so not too many people will notice how old I am).  I was one of her "test panel" that followed a running schedule and diet modifications for 12 weeks.  I lost about 10 pounds during the time of the study, but I gained an enormous amount of knowledge about my eating habits and the benefits of running.  I have continued to lose weight...another 12 pounds.  I love running and I love the way it is transforming my old "Grammie" body.  I have a waist, hips and very muscular, defined legs.  My boobs are another story...being fat inflated them and losing weight deflates them.  I always wanted bigger boobs, but if being fat is the only way to achieve that then I would rather have small, barely noticeable boobs.

Hope you all look for Sarah' book.  She is a contributing editor to Runner's World Magazine; an incredibly talented writer.  

I have said for many years that I am done with celebrating my birthday.  This year I am very melancholy about the past.  I miss my dad, my son Tommy, my husband Tom and my mom.  My mom is still alive, but suffering from Dementia.  She resides in a wonderful nursing home, Country Arch in Pittstown, New Jersey.  We call her the "Great Bluffer" since she is so good at making you think she knows you, but when you ask her she just says "I think I should know you".  I miss my mother so much, but I also cherish the moments I have with her. 

My parents brought a house on a 1 acre lot and also another 1/2 acre next to the house+1 acre back in1959.  They always thought the extra lot was their security.  My dad passed away in 1990; my mother had her second stroke in November of 2008 and has been in the nursing home since January 2009.  I also thought the lot was security; I put the lot for sale and we had 2 contracts on the lot.  The first contract fell through early on, although I wasn't notified until 3 months later.  The last contract seemed air tight so I began planning on making modifications to the bathroom and taking an early retirement in April 2011.  I was going to bring my mother back home!  But the sale was called off because the Planning Board in Califon opposed issuing a building permit for the lot pending approval from the Highlands Council, which could cost thousands of dollars.  That lot was always intended to be sold for someone to build on it, for 51 years!  I was devastated.  My dream of bringing my mother home was dead.  I still feel numb when I think of it.  I had everything planned out from the alterations to the CNA's who would be assisting me in caring for my mom.  I had to put my early retirement on hold.  I could not see borrowing more money to pay off the bills and make the  modifications, more bills in this economy doesn't make sense.  What if my mother became so incapacitated that we would have to look at nursing home care again; we would be in the same predicament of high bills and not enough income to cover them (since all her income is expected to go to the nursing home).  It is an impossible situation for families (and for nursing homes).

I do not know what the future holds for my mother's properties.  I may have to merge the two deeds to sell(I have to sell both).  I live there so I will have to find a place to go.  In the mean time I will enjoy every second I have in this special town!  I do love Califon, even if it has changed dramatically from the time I was a child.  I am not alone in thinking Califon was a great place to grow up, check out the Facebook page Califon Memories.

This year I inch more through the 50's and it won't be long before I turn 60.  December 25, yes I am a Christmas baby...Noel Carol...Christmas Carol...and this will be the third year I will go without a birthday cake.  I always thought I would be glad to be rid of the dreaded birthday cake, but secretly I wish someone would bake one for me. 

My 4th birthday; my great Aunt Mamie is on the left, my mom is on the right and my cousin Roberta is behind me.  I am much more than 4 this Christmas!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to All!  May all your dreams and wishes come true!

Christmas 2004 Tommy made me a birthday cake from scratch!  What a precious son!

Change of heart, at least temporarily!

I saw the last half hour of Sarah Palin's Alaska tonight.  I was not impressed with Kate Gosselin at all!  Even though I suspect that the whole situation was staged, I did find Kate Gosselin's whining extremely annoying!  I was impressed with the Gosselin children; they seem to be much more mature than their mother!  The Gosselin children were excited about camping and they seemed to embrace nature even under very challenging conditions; they are so cute, so adventurous!

Sarah Palin was portrayed as the more involved parent, trying to make the night exciting for everyone, regardless of the weather.  Todd didn't appear much of a partner when he attempted to escape Kate's ridiculous whining by going off to fish by himself, but Sarah took it in stride.

Sarah Palin runs because she loves it.  Kate runs for a "bikini body", yuck!

The un-Grizzly Mom Kate (couldn't even fake it enough for her children to have a new and exciting adventure..shame on you!).

This episode gave me a smidgen of respect for Sarah; I never expected that I would have this reaction.  Sarah the runner, out runs Kate Gosselin this time, but the true winners were the adorable Gosselin children; they were like little sponges, soaking up every moment of the adventure.

     Only a real Grizzly Mom can handle an Alaskan adventure! 

Every run, every race is a new adventure.  I like living an adventurous life and I never want to change!  Hopefully the Gosselin children will retrain their adventurous spirit in spite of their mother.

A Noble Cause, join us March 20,2011 NYC Half Marathon!

I joined Fred's Team at the encouragement of my friend Carole, to run the New York City Half Marathon this March 20. 2011.  Please join us!  I am running to fight liver cancer; the horrible cancer that took the life of my wonderful, sweet, beloved husband Tom.  It is a great event for a noble cause! 

We need to all we can to eradicate this horrible disease!

You can register here:
http://mskcc.convio.net/site/PageServer?pagename=ft_home

My handsome husband Tom; he was so proud to be a  United States Marine!

My Christmas Gift to You

I know how many people feel when seeing the memorial sites along the highway where people have died in car accidents.  The Friday before my oldest son Tommy died I saw a memorial and thought to myself "Why can't they get over it!".  Then the next day I had a visit from an Easton police officer telling me that my son had been in a "single car, single occupant, fatality accident".  I know I will never be the same; part of me died with Tommy.

Christmas was Tommy's time of the year.  He hung Christmas lights in his bedroom, he decorated every corner.  He was the reason I made a turkey every Christmas Eve.  He was the reason we kept up the tradition of having Harveys Bristol Cream Sherry every year after my dad passed away (I gave my dad a bottle of Harveys Bristol Cream Sherry back in 1971: starting a tradition of a toast of Harveys Bristol Cream Sherry for a "Happy Holiday" every year).

Tommy always slept by the Christmas tree.  He would shake every present under the tree to try and guess what it was, even when he was 30 years old.  He always woke up early on Christmas morning; waking his sleeping siblings Stephen and Alison so the presents could be opened. 

Tommy was my Christmas baby; I miss him so much. 

Many years ago Tommy and I listened to Luciano Pavarotti's Christmas Special On PBS.  One song touched us both.  We laid on the floor, my legs resting on the couch and his little legs stretched out with his heels resting on the side of the couch.  His left hand was resting in my right hand.  Pavarotti, along with the children's choir, sang Panis Angelicas...so beautiful.  When it was over Tommy asked me if this was what heaven was like, and I said "I hope so".  Please listen to the most beautiful music...a Christmas gift..a bit of Tommy's heaven:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KkU9_5VhpP8

Bears

Tomorrow is the start of New Jersey's six day bear hunt.  Bear hunting is allowed in part of Vorhees State Park where I run, so My Bear is in danger!  I walked around the trails at Vorhees this afternoon; no sight of My Bear.  I truly hope that the temperature remains sub-freezing and My Bear stays in his den.

Such gentle creatures; but the press in New Jersey has tried to demonize them  preparation for the bear hunt.  The press portray them as vicious beasts eating some one's chickens, breaking into homes, killing innocent pets (even if the pets are the aggressors), etc.  Some of these claims are not proven; many could have been caused by other animals like coyotes and foxes.  If we look at the facts, humans are more dangerous than bears. 

Picture of a young black bear much like My Bear (Hikerphoto.com).

Hunting permits were issued for twice the number of hunters as there are estimated bears in the state.  These gentle creatures are not our enemies!   I know there is nothing I can do but hope that My Bear is okay, I will just worry until Sunday!

True Heroes

I saw today that Sarah Palin and Kate Gosselin went camping together along with their families.  This historic event will be broadcast this week on "Sarah Palin's Alaska".  I guess we are suppose to think of them as great American pioneers; two runners (remember Kate attributes her new "bikini body" to running) creating history.  I prefer to think of them as two self absorbed women who put their own need to be famous above the health, safety and well-being of their own families!  Here is a link to the promo of the sad event:
http://www.tvguide.com/News/Gosselin-Palin-Camping-1026408.aspx

I do think think there are runners that are true American heroes, such as Zoe Koplowitz, author of The Winning spirit.  Zoe, who has suffered from Multiple Sclerosis for 37 years, has faithfully participated in the New York City Marathon for the past 22 years. This year she went the course on crutches, finishing the marathon in 35 hours. How grueling this was for her!  She demonstrated such sacrifice, such determination! The Guardian Angels accompanied her as she competed and spectators waited hours for her to pass so they could give her their love and support:
http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/sports/Zoe_Koplowitz___It_s_Been_Amazing___New_York-106921228.html

Zoe, you are an inspiration! In my opinion, you are the winner of the race. I take for granted the abilities, the gifts, I have been given. You make me realize how precious those gifts are, and I am humbled.

Running has given me such clarity.  It certainly gave Zoe clarity and a sense of purpose; a tremendous inspiration to many Americans!  Thank you Zoe!!

Congratulations Zoe!  You are a true American Hero!



TrailHeads Give-a-way!

Visit Marcia's Blog "Running Off at the Mouth" and enter her TrailHeads give-a-way! 



http://teamarcia-runningmouth.blogspot.com/2010/12/cold-weather-gear-and-giveaway.html

INSPIRATION

This entry was written the week of April 6, 2010:

Yesterday I did my First Strides work-out of 5 minutes warm-up, then 4 minutes walk with 2 minutes run times 3. I finished with a 12 minute "cool-down" walk. The first 2 minute run was a killer! But the second and third runs were great. My legs felt strong and I had energy. Later, in the evening, I did a leisurely 20 minute walk at Vorhees State Park. Tomorrow I plan on doing my third First Strides work-out for this week.

I have been thinking a lot about inspiration this week. I felt inspired by many of the women participating in the First Strides group. But I thought also about one of the most inspirational persons in my life, my father.

My Dad was born in 1919. He had a large family; a family with a lot of love. His Dad immigrated from England in 1900 and married Irish born Lily Mae Siler. Dad quit school during the Depression to help support his family. His beloved mother died of a heart attack when he was just 16 years old.

My father was a Sargent in the Army during World War II and after discharge was able to get his GED. He went on to get his Bachelors Degree and two Masters Degrees. He was brilliant! But he suffered from Manic Depression. I remember him from my younger years as being very unpredictable. He would be extremely animated and happy one day and the next day would not get out of bed. Sometimes his depression would last for several days. When I was 6 years old he had a Manic Episode. One evening I drew him a picture of a skunk. He said he loved the picture and he was going to take it to work with him the next day and hang it in his office. He walked to his bedroom, but something went terribly wrong. Eventually my mother escorted my sister and I into our bedroom. Later we were taken for the night to stay at a relatives house.

It seemed like months before Dad came home. I missed him so much; the sun rose and set on my father. Later in life he opened up about his experiences and I saw how much he suffered with this disease and how he was determined not to let it ruin his life. He never was hospitalized again; he overcame such odds, such obstacles. He had a long and highly successful career and a long, happy marriage. To me he was a hero. He faced adversity and came out a winner. He was the greatest Dad anyone could ever have..and the best "Pa-pa" to his beloved grandchildren: Tommy, Erin, Eden, Stephen and Alison.

With every adversity I have faced, I always draw such courage from my father. He was so supportive of my running, of anything that made me a better person. I run today for him, for Tommy , for Tom and I hope that in some way I will inspire my children to care for themselves. Life is worth living, life is what you make of it. Love every minute of your life because you never know when it will be over!

My handsome Dad, the sun rose and set on him.  He was the most amazing man I ever knew!

Run with us!

My friend Carole has registered for the Rivers Towns Marathon: http://www.active.com/running/danville-pa/river-towns-marathon-and-half-marathon-2011?act=EMC-RegConfirmation&Version=Running&Event=&Property=Active&Sections=Body&Creative=RegConfFor&ArtText=Txt_1&Content=Event_Details

Please consider joining us in the marathon, or the half marathon.  It doesn't matter how fast you are, I am slow as molasses...but I love running and I look forward to the challenge of actually finishing a marathon!

Me, my sister Sue Ellen and Carole on my first wedding day to Thomas Michael Brown.

Life is a great adventure, don't be afraid of taking risks; any time you take a risk, you are a winner.  Be proud of yourself!