Well, for me Christmas is over and I am sitting here watching the snow fall outside my window. It is a beautiful sight, but my heart is wishing for 45-50 degree day with plentiful sunshine! Perfect running weather!
I have written about how difficult it is for me during the Holidays because I miss my son Tommy and husband Tom so much. But two things happened that made me feel the sweetness of them being close.
On Christmas Eve I received a Christmas card from my sister-in-law Linda. It was a beautiful card, but the hand written message inside was even more beautiful. She wrote: "I am glad that my brother had you in his life, the first part and the end part...He loved sending cards...Back in 2006 I received a Christmas card from both of you which I kept (A snowy scene of 2 cardinal birds, male and female, perched on a pine overlooking a small country Church)".
The morning Tom passed away I sat in the hammock in the back yard feeling numb and empty. I heard birds singing and I looked towards the tree next to where I was sitting and saw 2 cardinals, both male, looking down at me. I thought to myself that they represented Tom and Tommy together again; it gave me such comfort.
Yes, my husband loved sending cards, and writing little notes. I would often open the car door on my way to work in the morning and find a hand-written note telling me how much he loved me. He always remembered important dates with a card. One birthday card became infamous, the "You're so nice to know" card. I constantly teased him about the card. Inside it said "Happy Birthday! Just thinking of the very special person that you are. Of all there is about you to admire. And hoping on your birthday that you know how much you mean and how truly you deserve your heart's desire". Tom signed it "Love you, love Tommy M. and Tommy A." Tom was "Tommy M" and our son Tommy (who perished in a car accident in 2005) was "Tommy A". At the time I was expecting a romantic card, telling me how much he loved me...ex cetera. At the time I was disappointed that all he could think of was that I "was nice to know".
Yesterday, Christmas day, my daughter Alison, son Steve, grandson Alex and I walked up the block to visit my cousin Roberta and Aunt Sophie. Alex was adorable, but didn't listen to his mother so his mother took him outside to have a talk with him. Later when when I was walking him back to my house he said he didn't know why his mother was upset with him because he was a "nice boy". I agreed that he was a nice boy, but I told him that his mother wants to make sure he listens to her. He thought for a moment and then said "Grammie, you are such a nice person!". I giggled and thanked him, but he didn't like that I didn't take him seriously and he said "No, Grammie, I am serious you are a very nice person...you are very nice to know".
I immediately thought of the birthday card I received from Tom all those years ago; the card I teased him about. I suddenly realized how wonderful the words were; "You're so nice to know.....truly you deserve your heart's desire". Thank you Tom for the most precious birthday card I have ever received.
I think when I finally pass from this world I want the words"She was a nice person to know" engraved on my headstone.
We all need to remind ourselves of how we deserve our heart's desire; with the new year upon us, may we all achieve our heart's desire!
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