My Mother Never Ran

My mother as a young woman in the 1930's

I go to see my mother and she sometimes knows me.  Most times we talk about "Noel" her daughter who comes to see her and takes care of her.  She says that Noel doesn't need to do her laundry and that she worries about Noel's finances.  I, of course, am "Noel", but my mother doesn't always recognise me as the person she is talking about.

My relationship with my mother has gone through so many stages.  Let's see, there was the "little girl" stage:

My mother baked a cake for my 4th Birthday...I loved my mother's cakes!!!

I entered school, Califon Elementary School, and my mother was my Kindergarten teacher:

I am 4th from the left in the second row (only 2 rows) and my mom is standing in the back right corner.

Time went by and I surprisingly finished high school, not the best student!  Then I met Thomas Michael Brown and we married for the first time:

On the day Tom and I were married for the first time, mom wore her wig.  We argued over this wig that had grey hairs in it (my mother did not have any natural grey hairs at this time in her life)I did not want her to wear it.  She wanted to wear it because she "loved" grey hair and liked how it looked on her.

Then I went to college, graduating Summa Cum Laude from Keane University.  I was accepted into Columbia University's MSW program and Fordham University's MSW program, both Advanced Standing.  My mother was opposed to a "woman" getting a graduate degree and refused to help me financially.  I could not afford Columbia, even with financial support.  I reluctantly went to Fordham, graduating with Honors.  I wanted to take a Fellowship at Columbia for my DSW, but decided against it since my mother vigorously protested.

I joined a running club while at Kean and my passion for running began.  At first my mother was skeptical, but as family members and friends took interest, she expressed her pride at my accomplishments.  She even went to watch me run 5k's, cheering me on!

When my father was dying he told me he wished I had gone on for my Doctorate; I wish I had too.  Why my mother's voice rang so loud in my mind is a mystery to me, but I am responsible for the decisions I have made.

Mom and dad were the perfect grandparents.  They cared for Tommy when I needed help.  And they showered affection on Stephen and Alison. 

Mom took care of dad when he was dying.  I was there to help take care of him too.  Tommy was a teenager, but he provided personal care for his grandfather.  We were family, and it is important to take care of your family.

Dad after his stroke, the last Christmas we would spend with him.  The sun rose and set on my daddy!



The following Christmas dad was gone, but we are family and we never forget those who have left us!  Mom is third from the left and I am on the far right ( in my sparkly QVC sweater).



My mother is in a nursing home now, a wonderful nursing home called Country Arch Care Center. She has wonderful, compassionate people caring for her. My husband and I took care of her in her home, with help from Sally, Sharon, Shirley and daughter Alison for over 2 years. After my husband passed away, I continued caring for mom with the help of Alison and Sharon. Mom suffered a second stroke six months after Tom died. I wanted to take care of her, but it was impossible to find the nursing help I would need since I was still working.  I thought if I could sell one of the properties mom owned, that I would be able to make much needed repairs/modifications to the house, take an early retirement and bring her home.  I still am trying to sell the lot and continue to dream about being able to bring her safely home.  Meanwhile, she is well-cared for at Country Arch.  I love her so much and wish that she would always know that I am the "Noel" she talks to me about; her daughter.  We haven't always seen eye to eye, but we are more alike than we are different.  I am grateful that she is my mother!

I love you mom!