Horrified

I just had to write a short post here about hurricane Irene.  Irene caused havoc in the state of New Jersey as well as many others, especially Vermont...it was not a "little rain storm" as some "commenters" have made on the Internet.  Who are these people?  What planet do they live on?  Certainly not the world I know...

For instance  some comments:

mcfinexAugust 30, 2011 at 5:21AM

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The Star Ledger should correct all of it's headlines. A Hurricane didn't hit NJ. It was a Tropical Storm. So stop the hype!!!

Vested

Vermont: You're faking it.

Signed, The Tea Party.

11 hours ago | Like (2) | Report abuse

The comments above are the "nicer" ones.  There was even one that wished the entire Northeast would have disappeared so that the cost of heating oil in the winter would go down!

Who are these people?  I have a feeling many of them are living in their mommy and daddy's homes, unemployed, without friends and unable to comprehend anything other than the virtual world.  Without a computer and a Blackberry they are nothing.  It is a sad state of affairs for these apparently dysfunctional people...constantly making their negative, vile and evil "comments" after numerous news stories.   I guess I would feel sorry for the pathetic creatures, but they are so lethal that I am left without any empathy for them. 

I have only one suggestion for the various sites they contaminate...please "delete"!

Important Things in Life!

The past week in the northeast has brought us an earthquake and hurricane Irene.  For me, it also brought a week of illness of  high fevers, ear aches, sore throat, nausea, muscle aches and a cough.  Fortunately I am feeling better.  Tonight I went for my first run in over a week.  I ran 2 miles very slowly and carefully..but I ran the 2 miles feeling pretty strong.   It didn't matter that I was slow because running is such a joy for me!  I am grateful for every day I am able to get out there and run.  Not everyone has the ability to run even if they have the desire.

I thought a lot over the past week about my husband Tom.  He died 3 years ago from liver cancer...we know it was cancer even though the death certificate says liver disease; we never had a biopsy of his liver.  There was no point, he was dying and a biopsy would have been too painful and too risky.

Tom was the love of my life.  He was handsome and so charming.  I had never met anyone like him before in my life.  He made me feel like I was someone special.  I was no longer responsible for a sister who was mentally ill.  I was no longer someone that had to take care of someone..I was loved and cared for...I was truly happy!  We were married in my parent's back yard on June 9, 1973.  It was the happiest day of my life.

My handsome Tom as a young Marine during the Vietnam War.

Things went bad for so many reasons..most of them ridiculous..but it is now "water over the bridge".  We divorced in 1975; I always thought of him and wished we would somehow be together again.

After our precious son Tommy died, Tom and I reconnected and remarried.  We had the most wonderful time together.  We knew that Tommy had something to do with our reunion.  When we stood before the Judge, we both felt Tommy was there to witness our marriage the second time around.

Tom and I were partners..we loved each other.  We went to Califon New Jersey to take care of my mother after her stroke.  We had the best time taking walks, feeding "the animals"(the squirrels, birds and deer), and caring for our precious grandson Alex on the weekends. 

Then it came time for us to say goodbye; we were together the morning he passed.

I still love him so much.  I am so grateful that we had our time together.  Not everyone has time like we had.   It was a gift that I carry with me each day.  Life is fleeting..each second is precious.

Too many lives were lost over the past week.  Life is a great gift, I never want to take one second for granted.  I sometimes worry about this generation that seems to want instant fame via YouTube..or other avenues on the Internet.  I would say to them, life is not lived in an instant...it is lived over a lifetime.  Nurture your ambition..your talent...like a fine wine.  Believe me, you will always want to be younger than you are today...stop thinking about age...think instead about your life dreams.  You will accomplish them if you abandon conventional thinking and listen to your heart.  Don't waste the time you have been given, there are no second chances.

Good Night Irene, Goodnight Irene I'll see you in my Dreams (or Nightmares)!

Well, this past week I have been battling illness and unable to run and bike as I planned.   Yesterday I was able to ride my bike for 6 miles and take an easy 2 mile walk.  I planned on running about 2 miles this morning, but did not get up until almost 10am...I never sleep that late!  Maybe it is time for me to recognise the fact that my body needs rest and time to heal.

Hurricane Irene is heading towards New Jersey!  I guess I am ready.  I have 2 flashlights, peanut butter, bread, water, dog food and treats for my doggies, cat food for Beauregard my kitty, fresh fruit and..... my Rosary beads.  I am not crazy about being alone for this...I have never had to face a storm like this alone.  I always had my children, neighbors, husband and friends around me when I faced disaster.  At my mom's house here in New Jersey I feel so lonely.  I know I have friends and neighbors here who will be there for me, but they are not steps away like they are in Pennsylvania. 

Eventually I will get back on track with my workouts and all will be fine.  I just cannot wait to get through the next 24 hours!  I hope Irene turns out to be a much tamer storm than currently predicted.  I hope that everyone gets through this storm without harm.

My mother turned 91 today.  She didn't seem to understand that we were facing a major storm, but she did seem to understand that it was her birthday.  My mother is in the late stages of Dementia.  When I told her she was 91 she shrugged her shoulders, smiled and said,"Oh well, we all have to die someday!". 

Happy 91st birthday mom!

Mom at age 17

Life is wonderful regardless of the hurdles we have to face.  Whether it is a illness or mother nature.  I am hunkering down for Irene and I am hoping and praying that everyone is safe!

I Want to Run!

I went to work last Friday not feeling great, but we had some emergencies and potential emergencies that I needed to attend to.  I immediately was bombarded with phone calls...some where I was put on "conference" call.  I tried to coordinate my efforts to address the issues as I felt more and more achy, feverish and at times unable to catch my breath.  By 11:00am I know it was time to call my doctor for an appointment or wind up being a "911" patient later in the day.

 I was able to see my doctor at 12:30 and even though I had taken a Motrin just over an hour before my appointment I still had a fever. I was prescribed an antibiotic and given a list of over the counter medications to take for my sinus and ear infections. I went home and got in bed. I only got out of bed to feed the animals. 

Later, I called my daughter and told her I didn't know if I could take Alex this weekend.  Alex and I had such fun plans...I had 24 hours to get better.  Well, Saturday I was worse..Alex called me to ask if "it was all gone".  I told him I was still sick...and I was also so sad because I missed him so much.



My precious grandson Alex!



Saturday afternoon I made a quick run to the grocery store (I was out of dog food, milk and bread).  The rest of the time I stayed in bed feeling achy and freezing, even though I took Motrin at regular intervals and about 5 blankets covered me. 

I think my fever broke on Sunday, but the aches and pains didn't subside until Monday.  Monday evening I attempted to take a short walk, but I was not strong enough.

Tuesday I developed a dry cough (after taking Mucinex) and found I had no voice.  Wednesday I returned to the doctors and when he asked how I was feeling I broke into tears.  He prescribed another round of antibiotics (the first round went for 5 days) to be started Thursday or Friday and an inhaler to assist with my breathing.  I left with a doctor's note excusing me from work until next Monday.

I am pleased to say that although it is hoarse, I now have a voice.  I went for a short 1 mile walk this afternoon and felt okay...just a little winded.

My son called me Wednesday and didn't recognise my "voice".  He told me to get back to bed and rest.  Today my daughter said she never remembered me being so sick.  They both forget the times when as children they were sick at the same time...and I also got sick.  At those times the days seemed endless..... sickness...temperatures...soreness...yuckiness!!!  The memories of those times came flooding back to me this week!

I am so grateful that I am getting better.  I hope to be running and biking again by next week.  This week's Daily Mile report will be "0" miles, but that is only this week.  Thankfully there are more weeks to come!

New Giveaway!

Great new YMX tee shirt giveaway: http://pinkhatrunner.blogspot.com/2011/08/ymx-tribal-sea-run-tee-shirt.html!

Isn't it the best when you win something for free!!

Biking Versus Running

I love to run, but I love to mountain bike more.  I just cannot seem to keep to a marathon or half-marathon training schedule because they interfere with the time I have available to exercise (plus my hip has been causing me pain lately when I run).  I want to spend as much time as I can riding my mountain bike on the Columbia and Vorhees State Park trails.  I love the freedom, speed and joy of riding; there is nothing like it.  I loved riding my bike as a child and that has not changed...I love it maybe more now because it propels me back to a time that I had the freedom to experience joy without responsibilities..responsibilities like a job, mortgage, children, grandchildren, health and unexpected emergency expenses!  I feel such abandonment when I ride my bike and I love every second!

It is not that I don't love running, because I do!  I want to eventually run a 1/2 marathon and a marathon, but maybe now is not the time. 

I am concentrating on healing my hip (piriformis syndrome) and looking forward to future 1/2 marathons/marathons when I am injury free.  Meanwhile, I have my first bike race on August 28th on the Columbia Trail!

The Weekend....

Well, I was looking forward to running at least 8 miles this weekend and biking about 30 miles.  However, Thursday night my daughter called me to remind me I was baby sitting from Friday until Sunday.  I cannot run (unless it is on the "dreadmill"..which is now in storage until winter) or bike when my precious grandson Alex is here.  Oh well, running and biking can wait ...plus my hip is hurting again and a couple days off would probably do me a world of good.  I have started doing my hip exercises again..they are so boring..100 times on each side!   It is so boring doing an exercise that calls for 100 repetitions on each side...boring, but necessary if I want my hip to be better!

My son Steve was coming over this weekend and he decided to come over Friday and Saturday too. 

So I had two wonderful, handsome young men spending the weekend with me; my two favorite guys...Steve and Alex!  Running and biking can wait until next week!

Early Saturday Steve went up on the roof, hoping to fix all the leaks.  It looked good until the drenching rains came later Saturday night resulting in two very drippy leaks!  Steve is adamant that he can get the leaks under control and I believe him.  After all, the alternative is to replace the roof at a cost of $8,000.00. 

Steve, Alex and I had a great weekend in spite of the rain, the roof and my laptop...yes my laptop died on Saturday around 12 noon.  There was no way we could resuscitate it....it was deceased!  But we were in luck when we went to Walmart later in the afternoon because Walmart had a clearance sale on HP desk top computers.  I bought a wonderful desk top for $350.00 and Steve set it up for me...it is a beautiful computer!  I love it!

I am pleased that my "scheduled runs/bike rides" had to be altered.  I had a wonderful weekend instead with the two best guys in my life! 

My two guys...Steve and Alex "walking" together at the Ken Lockwood Gorge in New Jersey.

58!

I wrote about Jane Fonda and how disgusted I was that she thinks she is an example to women because she lives a "healthy" lifestyle after having major plastic surgery.  Lately she minimizes the surgery saying it was just the "bags under her eyes"...but if you research it, you will find she had her eyes, jowls and neck done.  I think she looks like her face is stretched and distorted.  She looked so good in the movie "Georgia Rules"..I thought she was a beautiful role model for all women.  Then she got plastic surgery. 

Why is it so "horrible" that we get wrinkles?  Why are drooping jowls so bad?  Life and gravity are constantly taking a toll on our bodies.  What was "up north" begins to move "down south".  That is the natural course of events and it signals experience, maturity, knowledge and wisdom.  Why don't we value aging as most past generations have?  There is so much to learn from the past, maybe that is why our economy is in so much trouble..we have not paid attention to history, if we had, we might have avoided the current crisis.

Life is wonderful!  I wish my Tommy had the chance to live his life beyond a mere 31 years.  He was an amazing man; he made mistakes but he learned from them and became a better person because of them.  I miss him all the time and I live each moment in his honor.  Each day, each year, is a precious gift.  I "earn"  more wrinkles, more sagging jowls each year and I "wear" them with pride!  

I think of my Aunt Mamie..who was the most beautiful woman I have ever known.  She was married to Elston Beaty, the first Mayor of Califon, New Jersey and was 80 years old when I was born.  She gave me my "lady lessons" from the time I was 4 until I was 6 years old. She embraced her gray hair (that once was red) and her wrinkles and she was still a stunning and beautiful woman.

My beautiful Aunt Mamie at 86 years old.

 

I am proud of my wrinkles and drooping jowls.  I have lived the past half of my life to the fullest and I intend to live the next half (God willing) of my life even fuller!  How I live my life is far more important than how I look...and I think I look pretty dam good!!!!

Live life to the fullest..like it is the only one you will ever have!

Running Thoughts

I often wonder what other runners think about when they are running.  Do they listen to music, do they contemplate life or are they thinking of the next race?  Any thoughts are certainly important and meaningful. 

For me, I love the tranquil moments as I run on the Columbia trail or on the trails at Vorhees State Park.  I think about my family, my work, friends and others who are in need of prayers.  Lately, I have been praying my daily Rosary during my morning runs.  I do not have millions of dollars, but I can offer my prayers for those in need.

I like to run alone and I really like it if I am the only one running on the trail.  I often feel disheartened when other runners pass me, some of them even pass me twice.  When I pray, I stop worrying about other runners.  As a result, my running has improved; my pace is getting a little faster each day.

I love morning runs! 

Age is Just a Number

I really am sorry that I have been so down and out lately...but I do struggle at times.  I love my son and I miss him, but I will continue to live my life to the fullest, including embracing myself as I age.

I sometimes I feel as though I am 25...then I look in the mirror.  I am not 25...not 35..not 45...I am 58.  I want to think I do not look my age, but in the scheme of things, does it matter?

I live in a country where I can freely express my opinion and practice my religion.  I may be facing a tremendous hardship handling my mother's affairs, but I am able to feed myself and I have a job.  I run, hike and mountain bike in the most beautiful countryside that exists in the world.

In comparison to many people in this world, I am blessed indeed!  I am truly a very lucky lady!

I could not help but be repulsed by an article I saw on  the Internet this afternoon.  It was about Jane Fonda..the work-out Guru of the 1980s who said she would never get plastic surgery..she would "age gracefully".  Back then I thought she was such a role model.  I have since changed my opinion.  There are many now who still consider her to be a "traitor" from back in the 1970s: http://www.snopes.com/military/fonda.asp.  It seems now that all she cares about is herself...about being "sexy"..ugh..since when is plastic surgery "sexy"?  Maybe it is just me, but she looks disgusting to me. 

A 73 year old surgically made to look....50? 

There are some incredible women who have embraced life, living it to the fullest and enjoying each decade as though they were an Oscar Award for "a life well lived".  One is Lauren Hutton; a beautiful model, actress and activist.  She looks great, without plastic surgery.  Her love of life shines; she is absolutely beautiful! 

Lauren Hutton at age 66 without any plastic surgery; she looks fabulous!

I want to embrace all stages of life, enjoying good food, good friends, a wonderful family, running, biking, hiking and so much more!  I want to make a difference in other people's lives; after all we need to take care of one another.  Life is so fleeting and that is all the more reason to make sure all our actions count...not towards our selfish needs, but towards the best for all.

Six Years

I ran 2.5 miles at Vorhees State Park tonight after a huge thunderstorm.  The woods were wet and the trail was soft, not muddy.  I felt tired and sluggish at first, but after the first half mile I gained momentum.  I probably could have run further, but the air was still heavy and humid and I just didn't want to go any longer!

I feel as though I fail when I do not meet my mileage goals for the week.  I forget sometimes that we cannot always plan our days perfectly...life sometimes leads us to detours.  I had my detour this past week.

Let it suffice to say that I wish I could be released from taking care of my mother's estate.  There are too many people wanting their piece of her and too little that are understanding.  If I had known I would be dealing with this during the worst Recession since the Great Depression, I may not have said "yes" to being my mom's POA.  I am praying for this situation to be resolved.

This past weekend...July 30th..was the 6th anniversary of my son Tommy's death.  He died instantly in a car accident on Old Mill Road near Califon, New Jersey at 5:14 pm.  He was my right arm...my precious child.  I have learned to get up in the morning and get through each day, but the pain of his loss never leaves me.  My heart cries for him and my soul pines.  I miss him all the time.

I started running again in  his memory.  He would ride his bike as I ran back in the 1970's.  Shortly before he died he started running again and wanted me to join him.  I always think of him as I run.

Tommy, a handsome young man!

I am always planning on running a half-marathon or marathon..but I just peter out part way through the training.  Maybe the timing isn't right...maybe I need to reach out and join a running club for support.  I just know that I need to take a hard look at myself and make some changes...without beating myself up for not reaching the goals I thought I should reach.

I forget that I have come so far..and I can continue to move forward, maybe a little slower than originally hoped!