Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Running outside

This week I joined a First Strides group this morning and I was excited to see so many wonderful women; women of all ages, shapes and sizes. Some actually have participated in First Strides before and loved it so much that they came back a second time. Now that is impressive!

I was happy to find that I had no trouble with the the 4 minute walk/1 minute run X 3, plus 5 minute warm-up and 5 minute cool-down. The track was soft and had only slight inclines. But my goodness was it cold outside...BUR-R-R-R-R! I am so glad warmer weather is coming!

Tonight I completed my 13 minute run/2 minute walk (plus warm-up and cool-down) on the treadmill. I felt very energized; it was such a stress release after an afternoon of "problems" at work.

I love running!

I don't know about anyone else, but I am so glad the sun has returned to the East Coast! I can't wait to continue on with my week 8 on the treadmill and 2 more out door run/walks(for First Strides). Life is really good!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Tommy

Today I ran my 13 minute run/2minute walk times 2, not including my warm-up and cool-down. I felt good, I had energy. Every time I increase my running time with success I feel like I am on top of the world. But it doesn't always last.
Back on the 70's I would run while my little boy Tommy rode his bike. We would go for miles along River Road through the Ken Lockwood Gorge. He had blond hair cut in a "bowl cut"; his hair would blow back as he rode his bike. Tommy was an adventurer..he loved nature and was a very intelligent child. He was tested by the Child Study Team Psychologist and tests revealed he had an above Genius I.Q.; that was no surprise to me.
While I run, I think of those wonderful days when Tommy was young. His dog Pooh Bear would run with us too. Pooh Bear would jump in the Raritan River every once in a while to cool off. How I wish I could go back..if only for a few minutes!
Tommy died in a car accident on July 30, 2005. I miss him all the time. He had started running again just before he died. He ran and hiked through many New Jersey Parks. He often spoke of us running/hiking together. I am running again not only for me but for Tommy. I am doing what he wanted me to do...find my passion, my passion for running.
I am just starting; I have a long way to go, but every step I take feels like I won the Olympic gold medal..it may not seem like much to others, but it means a lot to me.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

They're Back!

About 5 or 6 years ago I began to notice something about my body. My mid-section became wider and rounder and my hips and waist disappeared. My butt disappeared too, replaced by a great big triangle. Someone told me that this often happens to women when they reach menopause.

Today I completed week 7 from Runners World's Mark Will-Webber's 10 Week Beginning Running Training Plan. I feel like I have so much more energy and I am so excited that I ran 10 minutes straight (not just 9) without any problem.

Because I wanted to see if my body was changing I forced myself to look in the mirror. I am happy to announce that I have indeed located my waist and my hips. They are still in the beginning stages of formation, but they are there! I also found that my butt has returned, no longer is there a big triangle, just a big butt! I am thrilled, I feel like I just discovered a new solar system.

Dan Quayle said: "It's time for the human race to enter the solar system" (well, what do you expect from Dan Quayle?). But I would say: "This human has discovered her own solar system as she takes time to enter the race to run 30 minutes straight!".

Friday, March 26, 2010

Yoga

This morning I ran my 9 min run, 1 min walk X 2, plus a 10 min run (okay at the end it was supposed to be a 9 min run and 1 min walk, but I got carried away). I also did a warm-up and cool-down.

Tonight I did 30 minutes of yoga. It was so relaxing. I almost didn't do yoga; I felt so wired from my day at work. But I know that yoga is not just an "exercise", it helps to calm both my body and my mind. For me yoga is very healing.

Today I also signed up to participate in a First Strides Women's Beginning Running Group. I feel I need to be with other women as I begin to get back running. I also think the group will be a support as I try to transfer my running from the treadmill to the pavement.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Tired, but motivated

I did my 9 minute run/1 minute walk X 3, plus my warm-up and cool-down. I made it, but I was so tired. I am not sure why. I wanted to stop after 20 minutes, but I kept going,then at 30 minutes I kept running for another minute. I felt as though I was in a double-bind, I wanted to run, but I didn't want to run. I was tired but I really felt motivated to run.
Today I couldn't take a lunch break at work. I had so much work to do that I just pushed myself to get all my tasks completed. I didn't feel as though I had energy because I was tired, but I had motivation.
As tired as my body felt, I had no trouble talking. I did a lot of talking today, I talked about this and that and talked some more. I made more phone calls today than I usually make in a week. I am soft-spoken, more an observer than an active participant, but I was not an observer today; my tongue was wagging!
Tonight I came home, put the dogs outside, brought them inside, fed them, put my dinner in the steamer and then went for a 30 + walk at the park, it was great! I still felt a little tired, but I had the motivation to walk.
I am glad tomorrow is one of my "rest days".
Konrad Adenauer said "All parts of the human body get tired eventually - except the tongue". That is a perfect description of me today, my body was tired but my tongue was full of energy. Thank god for motivation!

Monday, March 22, 2010

Memory

Today is a a rainy Monday, March 22, 2010. I began my week 7 of the Runners World "First Steps" schedule by Mark Will-Weber: 9 minutes run with 1 minute walk X 3 , equaling 30 minutes.

I must say I think I did very well..I said "think" because after the second round of running I realized that I stopped running at the 20 minute mark, not the 19. I didn't remember to stop at 19 minutes and ran 10 minutes instead of 9. I was surprised at my self...how could I forget the sequence? I thought that maybe I was at the beginning stages of Senility...after all as Jonathan Swift said, "observation is an old man's memory". Maybe I forgot the sequence,...but I did "observe" something was not right...right?

Well, at least I made it through the 30 minutes (not including the warm up and cool down).

Memory is a tricky thing. My husband Tom died June 9, 2008 on what would have been our 35th wedding anniversary. The first time we were married way too young, had a wonderful son named Tommy and divorced. All this happened in the course of 4 years. After our Tommy died in a car accident, we reunited. I had always felt that I was "right" and Tom was "wrong" so I blamed Tom for our failed marriage. I loved him; that never changed over the years. I loved him from the moment I saw him in a Dance Club on South Side Easton when I was 19 years old. Drinking age was 21 then so my "older" friends fixed me up to look older so I could get into the club. I will never forget the first time I saw Tom. He was muscular, tan and seemed at ease with himself. The girls immediately swirled around him. He had curly brown hair, golden eyes and a cute mustache. He wore a patterned brown polyester shirt with brown polyester pants. He was gorgeous. As I looked over at him my one friend leaned over and said.."that is Tom, he is a baseball player courted by the Minor Leagues...but stay away from him he is a playboy". I was disappointed, but since he didn't seem to notice me I just shrugged it off.

Later that night I went to the cigarette machine and as I was trying to decide what brand I wanted (yes I smoked back then) I realized that Tom was leaning against the cigarette machine. I tried to ignore him. He said "I saw you walk over here and I just wanted to come over and introduce myself. I am Tom and I think you are the prettiest girl in this place..in fact I think you might be the prettiest girl I have ever seen". I immediately thought that he was a con artist..my father had warned me about guys with "lines". So I replied" My name is Noel and I think you should get your eyes checked because I think you need glasses", and I went back to my seat. As the evening wore on I noticed Tom never danced. I danced as often as I was asked (which was often). Finally Tom asked me to dance and I soon found out why he didn't dance often..he made the most awkward movements with his arms flailing and his body gyrating in the most disturbing way. I figured he must have liked me after all if he was willing to put himself through all that humiliation. We soon began dating (after he asked my dad if he could "court" me) and I was head over heals in love. We married 7 months later.

When Tom and I started talking after Tommy's death I realized that my memory was extremely selective. I remembered what I wanted to remember and "forgot" the rest. When we talked I found out that I was not the victim...I was as much to blame as Tom for the failure of our first marriage. Why hadn't we talked like this all those years ago? I wasted so much time being a victim. It was the most healing and empowering experience of my life; a true gift. I was in control and life was good (as good as it could be without Tommy).

I will always be grateful that we had those "second marriage" years where we were partners. He was a wonderful husband and a wonderful grandfather to our grandson Alex. It was a great time.

Running has the ability to make us appreciate our strengths..to realize our potential. I am not willing to let negative thinking weigh me down..that I am "too old" or "too chubby". Maybe I "forgot" to stop running at 19 minutes instead of 20, but I made it through and I am happy! I feel energized and optimistic about life. I feel in control.

When I think of my walk thought he beautiful Ken Lockwood Gorge yesterday I think of Henry David Thoreau's quote "Alas, how little does the memory of these human inhabitants enhance the beauty of the landscape". Life is beautiful; past, present and future. Life is what we make of it.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Sun

Yesterday I ran my last day of 9 minute run, 2 minute walk X 2, plus 8 minute run. Today was my day of rest.

"Today was so fun
It was not my day to run
I enjoyed the sun"

It was in the 70's yesterday and today; what a wonderful gift after this difficult winter. Even though today was my "rest" day I couldn't resist taking a 45 minute walk at the Ken Lockwood Gorge here in Hunterdon County New Jersey. It is a spectacular place...if you have ever seen the movie "A River Runs Through It", the gorge looks similar to the river in the movie .......just beautiful.

Tomorrow I start my week of 9 minute running, 1 minute walking X 3.

I think that once I translate my running from my treadmill to the trail, the Ken Lockwood Gorge will be my "rave run".

Friday, March 19, 2010

Body Image

I did my 9 minute run, 2 minutes walk X 2, plus one 8 minute run this morning(plus warm-up and cool-down). I was tired since I didn't feel well during the night. I also struggled this morning with my body image. I expected by now that my jeans would fit better, but they didn't. I felt so frustrated, fat and dumpy....but when I looked in the mirror I didn't look horrible. I think that my body is changing; I feel more solid and I look like I am getting a waist.

Body image can be so complicated. Because of my life-long struggles with weight, no matter how much I weighed I always felt that I looked heavy. My mother, on the other hand, is just the opposite. My mother is only about 5' tall. She was so tiny when she got married that her wedding dress had an 18" waist...a really tiny dress. As she had children she gained weight but never lost it all. She once told me that she never sees herself as heavy; she still sees herself as the young woman with the 18 inch waist. Right now she weighs 165, down from over 200lbs at one time.

I gained weight and didn't lose it from about the second grade until I was graduating high school. At one time I probably weighed 190lbs, then while in graduate school went all the way down to 95lbs. At 5'4" I feel best around 125lbs. I am currently weigh more than 125lbs. But if I talk to some of my friends they will say that since I am an older woman I could never weigh that again and should settle for 145/150lbs. I don't understand why we think with age we should just "settle" for anything. I don't want to be that little old lady with the soft, puffy belly who only looks back on life..."the good old days". I want to cherish the past, but look to the future as I make the most of today. Somehow I have to constantly reinforce the idea of "healthy" body image, not "heavy" or "thin". Maybe my "healthy" body is around 125lbs, or maybe not; this remains to be seen.

One more day for week 6 of my running plan. On Monday I start week 7: run 9 minutes, walk 1 minute X 3 = 30 minutes. I am making it through the weeks and I feel good. I don't feel I look so bad in the mirror even if my jeans are still a little snug, and this is a whole lot better than I felt 5 weeks ago.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Rest

Today is my rest day, so I had time to reflect.
I have longed to run again for many years. When my oldest, Tommy, was a little boy I ran 40-50 miles per week. Many days he would accompany me on his bike and our dog Pooh Bear would tag along. I cherish those memories and long to experience that happiness again. I know that Tommy is not present in this life anymore..neither is Pooh... but they live in my heart and they are very much a part of me. I also know how much Tommy wanted me to get out and run again; he knew that running was important to me. I gave up running because two more children came along in the 1980's within 18 months of each other. Then by 1988 I became a single mom with a 4 year old, a 6 year old and an 14 year old. I just didn't have the time or energy to run. I tried several times to get back to it, but it never lasted. My children's needs and activities became the priority in my life.
Now I am alone for the first time in 36 years and it is time to get back to the things that are important to me. Following the Ten Week Training Plan from Runner's World by Mark Will-Weber (published 10/5/2001) is really important to me. I feel so good that I am able to keep up, and I feel that I can accomplish many more things with my life as a result of this program. Just because I am in my 50's doesn't mean I am "over the hill"...in the contrary..I am "just beginning".

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Sunny Day

I ran my 9 minute run with 2 minute walk times two, plus an 8 minute run (equals 30 minutes)...warm up and cool down extra (equals another 8 minutes; 38 minutes total). Felt pretty great...sweat and all. I usually begin my "run" around 6:30am. Then it is time to check my emails, put the dogs out, eat breakfast,clean up after the dogs, feed the dogs their breakfast, put the dogs back inside, take a shower, iron my shirt, get dressed, take out the garbage and get in my car and drive to work.
When I finally took my lunch today (at 2:30 pm) I ran some errands and then took a 30 minute walk on the Columbia Trail. What an awesome day...the sun was shining and the sun's rays were so warm. The sky was a true blue with hardly a cloud. Numerous turtles were sunning themselves on logs by the Raritan River. It was a wonderful, quiet respite during a day of hearing about one problem after another (fortunately we were able to find solutions to most problems).
I work in a field where I encounter so many people forced to deal with tremendous obstacles on a daily basis. Maybe they are diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy and they have no functional use of their arms and/or legs. Maybe they have suffered some traumatic brain injury as a result of an accident, and cannot walk, talk or take care of their own basic needs. Believe me, I count my blessings every day. I am so grateful that I am able to walk without assistance..that I can run without assistance. I feel so lucky...even after suffering the lose of my wonderful son Tommy and my husband Tom...I know I am one lucky Grammie. I do not ever want to waste one second of this life.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

lose those muffin tops

Today was absolutely beautiful. The sky was a true blue and the temps held in the 60s. I took a 30 minute walk this morning before work, and another 30 minute walk at lunch. I walked around the beautiful town of Califon (born and raised here) in the morning; the sunrise was awesome. I walked at lunch on a local trail; it was so peaceful and beautiful.
This morning after my walk, I did the "Lose Those Love Handles" from Jill on RunwithJill.com U-Tube video. These exercises target unwanted muffin tops. Since I have more than one muffin top, I wanted to incorporate these exercises into my weekly schedule. Wow, they looked harmless, but I had a hard time getting to 20 reps. I can feel my muscles tonight so I guess they're the right exercises for me.
Even though no one is following my blog, I hope that everyone is having a wonderful day just like me. Life can give us so much sorrow, but life gives us abundant joy too. I love life.....and I love running. I am so glad to be getting something I loved so much back in my life.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Playlists

Today I started week #6 of my Runners World program. I warmed up, then ran 9 minutes, walked 2 minutes times 2. Then I ran 8 minutes and did my cool-down. I was proud of myself: "go Grammie go"! I felt strong in my legs and had energy; not at all winded. I was surprised because usually on Mondays I am exhausted; I have trouble sleeping because I dread going to work Monday morning. Maybe this running thing has some extra benefit for this old chubby Grammie. Maybe today's accomplishment doesn't sound like much to others, but I feel like I just finished a marathon.
It is still stinky wet in New Jersey from all the rain over the weekend. The smell from the cellar (which was full of water and still has to dry out) doesn't make indoor exercise appealing right at the moment...but Grammie will persevere.
I do have a question..what is it with play lists? Back in the 70's when I started running there was no such thing. After all we didn't have cassette/CD players or i-pods, we had to sing. I sang out loud or in my head. I did have a 20lb portable 8-track player but I would have looked pretty silly running down the street lugging that big thing. My favorite song to sing was "The Muffin Man".....yes, I said "The Muffin Man"...remember the words..."Oh do you know the Muffin man, the Muffin Man, the Muffin Man.....". You could sing it fast or slow depending upon your pace. I sang that song over and over again...from anything from a 3 mile to a 12 mile run. I still find myself singing it when I run on the treadmill. I haven't seen the song on any published play lists yet. I also sing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" and "Jingle Bells".
Tomorrow is my off day...I will be incorporating some strength training...sounds like fun.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

grammie gets a life

Hello to probably no one,
My name is Noel Carol Brown...known as Gammie to my one and only grandchild Thomas Alexander (Alex)Lendvai. I live in my mother's home in New Jersey. My husband Tom and I came here 3 years ago to take care of my mother after her first stroke. We thought we would be here about 3-6 months. Well, mom had more strokes, my husband Tom was diagnosed with inoperable liver cancer..and well...mom is now well cared for in a wonderful nursing home...my husband died June 9, 2008 on what would have been our 35th wedding anniversary (if we hadn't divorced and re-married..more about that later).
I am going to run again. I am following a schedule I found through Runner's World Magazine. I will be starting week 6 tomorrow..run 9 minutes, walk 2 minutes times 2, then run 8 minutes (not including the warm-up and cool-down). I am so proud that I have made it this far...even if I am using my treadmill. I Loved running...but life took over and I stopped for a while (20 years).
It stopped raining for now in New Jersey. I swear I felt several earthquake/tremors this morning similar to the ones we had last month. But not to worry, they will not deter me from my morning runs tomorrow. Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday.
I suppose I should go back to my Yoga Class tomorrow too. I am going to be going on a retreat with Sarah Powers Memorial Day weekend at Kripalu. I cannot wait..it should be g-r-e-a-t.
So what if I am a "chubby" 50-some year old grandmother. I can still have a life.